Ok, I’ve had 3 questions opened for the past week or two. I’ve just been busy. More on that later.

First one, and I hope I’m not too late on these:

Subject: Love Hurts

Message: I’ve been dating the same guy for more than a year now, and it was most awesome for quite some time.  Then we fought.  A LOT.  And still neither of us was willing to give up.  It’s been some sort of metaphorical rollercoaster ride.  Lately I feel ridiculously under-appreciated and unloved…almost ALL the time now in fact.  I don’t know what to do because he’s the only guy I’ve ever felt this strongly about…but I can’t fucking take it anymore either!  He’s almost bi-polar and any problem we have he blames on me every time.  I’m not perfect, but I can’t fuck up that much, can I?  Please help.  I’m pathetically sad and I don’t know what to do. – TS

Yikes.

I apologize if I’m too abrupt or abrasive here, but let’s be honest – are things really going to get better? I can appreciate not wanting to give up because of those initial feelings from the beginning. Sadly many couples make this mistake – things are great in the beginning and then everything just goes downhill and doesn’t seem to get better. They just get worse or they stay the same.

The fundamental question you need to ask yourself is: Are you happy? If the immediate answer isn’t “Yes,” and I mean IMMEDIATE, you have to address it one way or another. If your answer is something like, “Yes – but every now and then…” that’s not a problem. Couples are never perfect and will always have to deal with hardships.

But the vibe I get from your e-mail is that you are incredibly unhappy and while you want things to work out and go back to the way they were, they just aren’t. My advice is to have a big, big talk with the guy and tell him you’re very unhappy. Tell him why. Make SURE you tell him why – nothing is more frustrating to a guy when we get dumped and don’t have a real clue why. Be honest and constructive. If he’s receptive and wants to really, REALLY try and resolve things than go for it. If he starts playing the blame game and isn’t accountable for the stuff he does, then it’s time to dump him. You’ll have to deal with heartbreak for a while but you will recover and find someone who will appreciate you from the beginning to the end. Word.

Next up, a recording question!

Subject:  Singers and computers

Question: Whats up Rawrb?   I got a question involving recording vocals.   I have Adobe Audition, and what i think is a ‘not-cheap’ mic.   My question now is simple – How the hell do i make it sound good, especially for metal growly vocals?   In general…Techniques, programs, bending over for Mrs. Bertha down the street?? – Danny

Well I’m no recording engineer (Jarsh does that for Psychostick), but I will tell you a few things I picked up on.

When it comes to gear or software, 99% of the time you get exactly what you pay for. If you spent a couple hundred bucks on a recording mic, that just won’t cut it. Be prepared to drop a good $500 or more. Of course many recording elitists may disagree on that, but like I said I’m no engineer.

Many things that come into play are: A nice compressor, a 24 bit sound card, versatile software, mic cables, and so forth. From there it’s getting very specific and I don’t know a ton of details. A great place to get some advice is HomeRecording.com, which is a website that Jarsh frequents and got a TON of knowledge from. You will definitely find your answer there somewhere.

One more question!

Subject:  chicks

Question: Yeah, so i’m pretty n00bish on the female gender, but i was wondering if you had any tips on how to tell if a girl was in to you or not. I really like this chick and want to go out with her, but i don’t know if she feels the same way. HELP! – Jerry

I actually answered a very similar question in this blog. Check that out first. Chicks will almost never verbally tell you that they’re into you. It’s all very, very subtle. Basically, flirt your face off and see if she flirts back. If she does gather up the courage and ask her out on a date. You will never know until you straight up ask, and if you wait too long you might get sucked into the friend zone. Here’s more about the friend zone.

Hope that helps. If thiings don’t work out don’t worry about it. There are roughly 3 billion other women on this planet. I think you’ll manage.

On a personal note I think that it’s rather funny that I’m giving out dating advice. Turns out that I’m just way to occupied with Psychostick that I simply don’t have the time or energy for doing any dating of my own. I went out on a few dates recently but nothing really materialized. Let me ask YOU this (time to give me some advice you crazy onlookers) – is it actually possible to date and be happy with it when I’m never home and 95% of my time is taken up by band business? I heard rumors that it is but I have yet to see it. Of course I’ll never rule out the possibility. I personally think that the best thing for me to do is continue to pursue my dreams and the rest will fall right into place when the timing is right.

Looks like I answered my own question. My brains love me! *punch*