November 20th 2006, 6:31 PM

Finally, a solution.

Weird, weird. Normally I think of a million things to write about, but at the moment I'm trying to remember what I wanted to say. I finally have a few minutes between driving, shows, and restless nights. Wooa!

First and foremost, the tour is going really, really well. We're playing, on average, 5 to 6 shows a week. FINALLY. The last tour was closer to something like 3 shows a week. When you have too many days off, you lost money and get impatient. Dumb!

Plus we just found out that our CD will finally get into 95% of all the Best Buys AND all of the Trans World related stores. So awesome. This is something like 40% of the retail market for CDs, and that's a HUGE step forward. Amazing stuff; things have been so insane lately that it's almost overwhelming. Rawr.

On a different note, a buddy of mine on myspace posed an interesting question:

"Do you ever think about how difficult it must be to have a serious relationship while on the road?"

I don't really like talking about this even though it's on my mind quite a bit. Her question is very valid though, because I will have to face this sooner or later.

Alex (my drummer) just officially started something up with his new girlfriend, which is badass of course. Will their path be that difficult because we tour so much? I don't really think so.

Of course, the "wise" decision would be not to get involved with anyone until things really start to stabilize. Who knows how long that will take, for starters. I mean, we've been on the road almost the entire latter half of 2006, and that's just two tours. Next year is already starting to look extremely busy, between touring and recording. My overall time off will be very minimal, I can already tell.

It's a tough situation to face. It's obvious to me that the best thing to do is listen to my gut; or just what feels right. I don't think that I, personally, have any problem being involved with someone exclusively while touring. I think that it, in particular, has a problem with me. It's a cold reality that I've faced many times before, not just because of touring, but because of distance. I've faced it multiple times, over and over. Something clearly isn't right with my decision making process if I continue to find myself in these scenarios.

I think the ultimate question is, "What do I really, really want without doubt, fear, worry, anxiety, etc?"

There's my emotional half telling me that the comfort and stability of a commitment is always oh-so-nice and the best way to go. Of course it's nice, and sometimes it's the best way to go. It really, REALLY depends on where a person is in their life in order to make decisions like this.

The logistical half knows for a FACT that while I'm in this situation, the best thing to do is stay focused on what's in front of me and not be jarred by this kind of dramatic nonsense. Heh, but the logistical side of me never judges situations like this very well, so I can't count on that.

Since I have between now and, well, when I DIE to make that sort of decision, I should probably just take care of business WHILE doing what feels right. At this very moment, the best solution for me would be to remain where I am right now and take care of business. I mean, as long as I'm doing this band stuff, it doesn't matter where I live and where she lives; it'll always have distance.

ALWAYS.

It's just time to get MY life together. Anything else can wait!

Wow, I just solved my own dilemma. Amazing!

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November 8th 2006, 11:04 PM

You may ask. What?

Guess what? I did something. I was out of the coding world for a while, but I got back into it. Haha. I added a new feature to this site. It's not much, but it's a nice SPAM FREE step forward, something that I've always struggled with.

Yes, you can now Ask Rawrb. Don't use it, because HATE

Impressive, yes?

Well, Psychostick's 2nd tour is starting on Friday. I'm so ready to go... I did some contract work for a good friend for about a week, so money is good. Although something was definitely confirmed; I'm not into working for someone anymore. Granted I'm very appreciative of all the opportunities I've had since I was eighteen years old with the web jobs, I just ain't into the routine lifestyle anymore. You know: get up, go to job, come home, sleep.

And with the crazy no-day-is-the-same thing going on, who the hell can go back to the grind?

Some guy named Jim, maybe.

There's a lot going on in my personal life right now, but I don't think I want to talk about it. It's a bittersweet, I guess. I want what I can't have, over and over again. It's a lot of fun though, that much I'll say. It's just...

Bah, nevermind. I already know what I'm gonna do, so I'm done with that.

I'm off to bed to play some Final Fantasy V, jerks.

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