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Buddies
Restlessly tired!
Tough times ahead. Things are coming down to the wire for the CD and we're doing out best to get it done in time. Ahh, the double-edged sword that is QUALITY. Sometimes things have to take longer to get the best product... but taking the time needed is always worth it.
A good example would be Blizzard Entertainment.These guys take their time and make sure that all their products are to the highest quality standards. Fix bugs, polish, fix more bugs, polish, polish... POLISH. Then, spend another year polishing. At the end you deliver an amazing product that all have been anticipating. Starcraft II and Diablo III look amazing from the teasers they've released and if I gotta wait another year for either one, I'll gladly wait.
Man I'm tired. I just received Jimmy's interview for the DVD, so now I can finally finish it. While I was waiting on that I did a ton of little things to Pluh.com. I often go back and forth with that site not knowing what to do with it. I'd scrap, rebuild, take away, patch, scrap, etc. At this point I feel like I can keep adding to it, piece by piece, to get some serious results. Eventually I feel that we'll truly be able to deliver funny, high quality media at a consistent pace. All of us that work on that site had to go and do some "growing up" before we could commit to production. Little by little I aim to make it as memorable (and as popular) as Homestarrunner or Penny-Arcade.
For now though, I feel Psychostick will need my energy until the name alone carries it.
So everyone go do that election thing in a few days. Seems like the collective attention is caught by that event. Cool stuff.
One of those 3 AM blogs! I better get some rest because I've got tons of recording to do. Rawr.
Oh yeah, I also uploaded some VERY old Pluh.com videos onto my youtube account. Enjoy!
How many subject changes?
Whew. I'm at a crossroad with the DVD right now. Waiting on some footage, plus I've done most of all I can for Sandwich today... so I'm feeling like messing with some new features on Rawrb.com here. I figure I'll finish adding the photo album and then add a "reviews" section like I attempted to do on Psychostick and have done on Pluh.com.
I thought that initially having a reviews section would be cool for the band to review stuff or whatever, but I'm like the only guy that does that kind of stuff. Jake cruises myspace, Jimmy is on a computer twice a year, Alex watches bad movies, and Jarsh has pretty much had his fill of reviewing stuff on Pluh.com. He, much like myself, doesn't just like to write a review. We like to carve a masterpiece of humor at the expense of the thing/person/whatever that we're reviewing. We did that for several years on Pluh.com and lost interest to review stuff after awhile. Hell, at one point we had a record label contact and send us some bands to review. Trik Turner and The Color Red. Yeah. The Color Red was pretty good, but Trik Turner's tough guy rap/rock thing came out right when that genre was dying and I was extremely burnt out on it. I didn't review either of them.
At that point I decided I just can't review music. I'm very particular and have a hard time opening up to something new. My friends will often introduce bands to me and they almost have to force me to hear it for me to show interest! It's a flaw, I know. Part of it is because I'm IN a band and know what really goes on behind the scenes. There's just so much out there that it's the equivalent of drinking from a firehose.
It also makes me feel a bit hypocritical. I want people to discover Psychostick, but I don't discover new bands. Weird huh? I'll get a message on myspace every now and then from someone who wants me to hear their band. 49 times out of 50, I just don't. It's almost a knee-jerk reaction now. I feel bad about it too, but what do I do if I don't like the band? Tell them they suck? That hurts Psychostick's reputation! It's not fair really. So I just don't listen. What a jerk I am, huh?
For example, there was a local band here in Phoenix that Jarsh reviewed on Pluh.com a long time ago. They were a weird, somewhat popular local band that got all the good opening slots for all the big acts that came through. They had more of an image than a musical act which we didn't really enjoy, so Jarsh spoke him mind on the interweb.
One night after a show singer approaches me and Josh after a particular show and starts asking us about the bad review Josh put up. It was a very awkward situation and we were caught off guard, so we copped out, "Yeah I don't know who that Gawkman fellow is but we'll have a chat with him." Heh. We COULD have given in to the confrontation but it was such a weird deal to have someone call you out on your bad review on their band FROM A WEBSITE in person. It's not easy to take a bad review on your band and this guy was really upset (I won't mention the choice words Jarsh used to describe their image), but at that point we decided not to review bands any longer since we were a band and it could hurt the progress of our band. All those review were taken down.
Anyway, I will review just about anything else. A movie, a video game, a restaurant - just for the hell of it. I used to review chicks, but... heh, who wants to keep putting hot chicks on a pedistal? Not me. Let Maxim and Stuff Magazine do that. They can also keep giving out that "dating advice" from chicks to guys all night and day. Damn near every piece of advice you read from that mag on dating is way off. Asking a lady for dating advice? Hmm. I don't mean any offense to the ladies because they mean well, but I've never received a piece of advice from a lady that's worked really well for me. Our two genders are pretty much two different universes. You know, square peg in a round hole? Yeah. Heterosexual women generally do not date women like a man dates women, so they cannot understand the male perspective! It's not because they're unintelligent, it's just that we think differently. So guys, if you want good advice on dating women just ask a dude who dates a lot of women. They're doing something right.
That also goes for anything else you want. Wanna be filthy rich? Get advice from a rich person. Want to sell a million records? Get advice from those who know how.
Subject change galore. I'm gonna go program stuff now. Yay!
Political Bum!
I've never cared for politics. I'm honestly not much of a political person. I see it as pointless and often a waste of energy to spout opinions back and forth while nothing truly gets resolved. Some people, many of them I know of, get OFF on it. They get all wrapped up like a burrito in their political party and just badmouth the other party without truly looking from an objective perspective. Hence all this productive energy is wasted and nothing truly beneficial comes of it.
I firmly believe it's come to a completey biased system. One man could meet another man - both of them enjoy each other's company up until they find out what each others' political party is. Then everything changes. It's become nearly as ridiculous as a rivarly between two high schools. It's been explained to me that people, by nature, are pack animals and will quickly group together with like-minded people, denouncing those who they disagree with. "We're better than you because we're us and you're NOT us! *fight song*"
Of course it would be unfair of me to completely stereotype those who are passionate about their political beliefs. I'm very sure there are those who are incredibly objective and open minded while truly following their beliefs.
Lately, with the slump of our economy, I find myself more and more disappointed in our government. It's become such a convoluted and slippery system that our national debt and deficit is beyond repair. There are systems in place that are so archaic and primitive that they do nothing but drive up those numbers. We have the technology, and the potential, to completely rehaul our government where the people can truly run the country without having to depend on senators and representatives to "represent" us. Our monetary system doesn't work either... not only do we have to pay taxes to a government that doesn't know how to spend, but they're allowing banks to loan out more money than we have. The value of our dollar is constantly going down with nothing to back it. Nothing seems to be truly effective and functional anymore, and people seem to be so afraid of real change that they continue to act in the two big packs, as the pack animals we are - Republican or Democrat.
I really believe my country has been great. It has potential to be even greater. We can cure cancer, explore space, access the other 90% of our brain we don't even use if we can simply look past our petty little opinions and create a society that focuses on improving ourselves and each other. The solution is simple, but true individial change is not. I love the freedoms I have and I think we should all use these freedoms to fix our system so that we CAN do great things for humanity. But if we're so focused on how many trillions of dollars we owe and who's political football team is better, than we simply can't evolve as a species. Doesn't anyone notice that our system isn't working anymore? Aren't we tired of being treated like robots?
My friend Rachel called me the other day:
Rachel, "Hey Rob, who are you voting for?"
Me, "Heh, I'm not voting."
Rachel, "WHAT? Why not?!"
Me, "I just... can't support a system that isn't working anymore."
People think it's bad that guys like me don't vote. I think it's good, actually. Think about it. If people stop voting, how will officials get elected? This will cause a ton of drastic change, and even some chaos for a while, but we've got the potential to create a true, people driven government without all the representatives and corruption. The technology and brainpower is there, we just can't be afraid to give up our comfortable, traditional way of living. People called Christopher Columus crazy. They called Albert Einstein crazy. People who bring about true innovation are often called crazy initially, but now we view them as pioneers for humanity. If it wasn't for these limitless thinkers and visioneers, we wouldn't even be remotely close to where we are today scientifically, technologically, and emotioanlly. Appreciate what those amazing individuals have done for the past. That's the first step. From there we can take what we've learned from them and apply them to innovate ourselves into a better society.
My vote is for a new system that actually works, but unfortunately that's not on the ballot. Awh man.
Ok, this is about as political as I'll ever get. I do love this country, don't get me wrong. We've come so far over the past 300 years, and it's time to turn our energy towards what WILL work over the NEXT 300 years. Right now, with the system working as it is, it doesn't work. Let's create a advanced utopia (Star Trek!), not a people herding system (Idiocracy).
That is all. Rawr.
Monitor Your Monitor.
In about an hour I go in to record some more vocals. We had a nice lengthy meeting with the label today, which turned out to be a really good thing. Everyone was really excited about the new stuff. We've penciled in a release date but it could change due to the nature of the business. We'll just have to see. Right now I've got to shift some energy into getting the album artwork done. That bleeds into DVD production a little bit which I wasn't happy about, but the new album will always be the top priority over the next 6 months.
Over the past couple of weeks I started selling some of my old stuff that was just sitting in storage. I'm pretty sure there's more in there I can sell, but thus far I sold my TV and a couple of rare games that I had. Those two games (Lunar and Lunar 2 for the Playstation) I had no attachment to and I honestly didn't even like the games. I tell you, when money isn't as abundant you tend to bring into question what REALLY has value and what doesn't. I'm gonna put up my PCMIA Verizon Internet Card and Ogre Battle: Limited Edition for the Playstation next. Bam.
With the profits from those sales I picked up a new monitor. I had a giant, clunky CRT monitor that was eating up so much space and just didn't display my stuff in the color that my laptop screen can. So here's what I got:
Yeah. This thing is AWESOME (the Samsung T240). The picture above doesn't do it justice. I was editing the DVD artwork on there and at 300 DPI things get rather huge. On this monitor, which has a crisper display than my laptop, I could see everything in perfect clarity. I downloaded a 1080p version of the Quantam of Solice trailer and watched it on there too. Holy CRAP. My next console purchase will be a PS3 or an XBox 360 because this thing also supports HDMI. Mmm hmm. The only thing that I'm trying to find a solution for is the ability to hook up S-Video for my PS2 and Xbox. I can't find any adapters that go into HDMI... so I'll have to poke around the 'net for a while for that. If any of you know where I can find S-Video and/or component adapters going to HDMI, let me know!
Also what you're seeing above is the amazing fruits of my labor and patience. I have my own room now (after 2 years of mooching due to touring) and made some cash from selling stuff + CD sales to create a harmonious working environment. It's actually fun and peaceful to work on artwork and DVD stuff where I'm sitting. Notice the bowl of pineapple slices. I recommend it as a snack... ya jerks.
During my last blog I asked you for a smidge of advice. Thanks for the responses. I did find my answer through other means, but I don't want your responses to go unrecognized. Aren't I just THAT awesome? (yes)
Whew.
Irrational Thoughts about being Rational.
Ok, I've had 3 questions opened for the past week or two. I've just been busy. More on that later.
First one, and I hope I'm not too late on these:
Subject: Love Hurts
Message: I've been dating the same guy for more than a year now, and it was most awesome for quite some time. Then we fought. A LOT. And still neither of us was willing to give up. It's been some sort of metaphorical rollercoaster ride. Lately I feel ridiculously under-appreciated and unloved...almost ALL the time now in fact. I don't know what to do because he's the only guy I've ever felt this strongly about...but I can't fucking take it anymore either! He's almost bi-polar and any problem we have he blames on me every time. I'm not perfect, but I can't fuck up that much, can I? Please help. I'm pathetically sad and I don't know what to do. :( - TS
Yikes.
I apologize if I'm too abrupt or abrasive here, but let's be honest - are things really going to get better? I can appreciate not wanting to give up because of those initial feelings from the beginning. Sadly many couples make this mistake - things are great in the beginning and then everything just goes downhill and doesn't seem to get better. They just get worse or they stay the same.
The fundamental question you need to ask yourself is: Are you happy? If the immediate answer isn't "Yes," and I mean IMMEDIATE, you have to address it one way or another. If your answer is something like, "Yes - but every now and then..." that's not a problem. Couples are never perfect and will always have to deal with hardships.
But the vibe I get from your e-mail is that you are incredibly unhappy and while you want things to work out and go back to the way they were, they just aren't. My advice is to have a big, big talk with the guy and tell him you're very unhappy. Tell him why. Make SURE you tell him why - nothing is more frustrating to a guy when we get dumped and don't have a real clue why. Be honest and constructive. If he's receptive and wants to really, REALLY try and resolve things than go for it. If he starts playing the blame game and isn't accountable for the stuff he does, then it's time to dump him. You'll have to deal with heartbreak for a while but you will recover and find someone who will appreciate you from the beginning to the end. Word.
Next up, a recording question!
Subject: Singers and computers
Question: Whats up Rawrb? I got a question involving recording vocals. I have Adobe Audition, and what i think is a 'not-cheap' mic. My question now is simple - How the hell do i make it sound good, especially for metal growly vocals? In general...Techniques, programs, bending over for Mrs. Bertha down the street?? - Danny
Well I'm no recording engineer (Jarsh does that for Psychostick), but I will tell you a few things I picked up on.
When it comes to gear or software, 99% of the time you get exactly what you pay for. If you spent a couple hundred bucks on a recording mic, that just won't cut it. Be prepared to drop a good $500 or more. Of course many recording elitists may disagree on that, but like I said I'm no engineer.
Many things that come into play are: A nice compressor, a 24 bit sound card, versatile software, mic cables, and so forth. From there it's getting very specific and I don't know a ton of details. A great place to get some advice is HomeRecording.com, which is a website that Jarsh frequents and got a TON of knowledge from. You will definitely find your answer there somewhere.
One more question!
Subject: chicks
Question: Yeah, so i'm pretty n00bish on the female gender, but i was wondering if you had any tips on how to tell if a girl was in to you or not. I really like this chick and want to go out with her, but i don't know if she feels the same way. HELP! - Jerry
I actually answered a very similar question in this blog. Check that out first. Chicks will almost never verbally tell you that they're into you. It's all very, very subtle. Basically, flirt your face off and see if she flirts back. If she does gather up the courage and ask her out on a date. You will never know until you straight up ask, and if you wait too long you might get sucked into the friend zone. Here's more about the friend zone.
Hope that helps. If thiings don't work out don't worry about it. There are roughly 3 billion other women on this planet. I think you'll manage. :)
On a personal note I think that it's rather funny that I'm giving out dating advice. Turns out that I'm just way to occupied with Psychostick that I simply don't have the time or energy for doing any dating of my own. I went out on a few dates recently but nothing really materialized. Let me ask YOU this (time to give me some advice you crazy onlookers) - is it actually possible to date and be happy with it when I'm never home and 95% of my time is taken up by band business? I heard rumors that it is but I have yet to see it. Of course I'll never rule out the possibility. I personally think that the best thing for me to do is continue to pursue my dreams and the rest will fall right into place when the timing is right.
Looks like I answered my own question. My brains love me! *punch*
The Dumb is now The Done! Kind of.
*gasp*
I finally finished everything with The Dumb. Actually finishing a project is like crack. Getting to that crack is the tough part, but with some potential bugs that might creep up I can honestly say I'm finally 100% done with TheDumb.org's street team management system.
The Dumb is a website that is uniquely organize to assist in getting street teamers for Psychostick all the materials they need to promote. Sounds simple, right? On paper it is simple, but the logic between real world promotion and managing the promotion is not simple. Plus there has to be incentive. "What's in it for me?" When massing an army, or just leading a team of people, incentive is vital. Sometimes just acknowledgement is enough, but in the real world people need to see a light at the end of the tunnel for all their hard work. We're coming up with more rewards for the hard work, but for now we'll have backstage access, featured dumb t-shirts, and some others.
Now I can get back on track with the Psychostick DVD. I'm really looking forward to finishing that one. There's been a ton of pressure to get this thing done but more important stuff keeps pulling me away. NOW, between recording and some occasional artwork, I can divert the majority of my energy towards this thing. Fucking finally. It's coming folks so you just hang in there. I'm just glad to be crossing things off of my list.
Rawrb's tip on actually being productive: Get all that to-do stuff out of your head and on to paper! Make a list and cross things out as you complete them. You'll sleep better at night with all your ideas/to-dos/projects written down rather than swirling around in your head with the potential to be forgotten.
I had a couple more questions come in as well. I'll make that a separate blog!
Blogging or Flogging?
Maaan, tons to talk about.
First off, I've had a few more questions come in. Bayum!
" I am a musician who plays drums guitar bass and does vocals.I write my own music and have now been limited to working with others over the internet.None of the musicians I record or create with have met me face to face.Do you think there could be any future in making music this way? Just wanted to get your take on it man because of course Psychostik kicks ass!!
- K"
Hmm. Honestly it depends. If you plan on playing shows, this won't work at all. If you're just recording a track and sending it off to a bandmate to record to it, that could work I suppose. If you're serious about making music your career, I personally think you'll need to meet and work in person.
Here's another!
well you probly here this alot but i am gonna aske ne way. i hve been having a hard time geting a relationship sence 2004 well now it is 2008 i am 18 and there is this girl i have been frends with sence 9th grade and i don't know jack shit on how to get a relationship started with her i have asked her out once and she said no and i am scared shitless to aske her out again just for the fact of geting shot down again so if you can help me out it would be great
- D
Hmmm. Dry spells are rough on us guys. At one point you lose your grip on what's really important and can sometimes lower standards, become desperate, etc. That's why porn is awesome, but I digress. I'll address the dry spell thing in a moment.
The big problem with asking out someone you've been friends with for a long time is exactly that - you're in the friend zone. Often times the friend zone is exactly like a black hole - once you pass a certain point, you cannot escape. "But RAWRB, I heard of someone who was friends with someone else then they became LOVAWRS!" In extremely rare cases this is possible but highly unlikely. The fact that she's already told you "no" does not help your chances. Sucks huh?
So what do you do? You totally dig this girl who considers you a friend. What DO YOU DO?! Oh noes!
First things first. I don't recommend asking her out again. As a matter of fact keep her as a friend. Female friends are awesome. If you insist on making her your girlfriend, get her drunk and put your mouth on her accept her friendship and little by little, flirt. Flirt more as time goes on. Keep flirting AND keep strong disposition on making her your girlfriend. I like to use the fake ego trick later on. "You didn't go out with me because I'm too awesome. That's okay, you're racist against awesome people. No problem."
Best thing to do here in my honest opinion is to cut your losses and move on. ADVANTAGE = YOU. Being able to move on from something like this shows a TON of personal strength and foundation which'll make you way more attractive to the entire female gender.
This is tricky stuff to learn. When I mentioned going out on dates, I want you to experiement a little. When going out on a date play around with the following:
- Don't give out a single compliment. Instead have fun with appearance. "You look great. Almost as great as I do." This is a joke, and if she has any sort of brain she'll get it and laugh.
- Flirt like crazy.
- Tease like crazy.
- Constantly accuse her of trying to get into your pants IN A FUN WAY. "Sorry sweetheart, but you have to work for it." Heh heh.
- Never let her win. EVER. If she does beat you at something, joke about it. "I have to let you win every now and then. Otherwise you'll probably explode from losing to me so much." Hell, cheating works too. If you're playing an arcade game, for example, reach over and start tickling her so she loses. Heh heh, that one always works.
- HAVE FUN. That's THE most important thing. If she's non-receptive and just completely sucks, cut it short and end the date. That'll most likely not happen if you're doing all of the above. Otherwise you might be on a date with a zombie.
Try it. See what happens. There's so much more to this that I just don't have the time to get into it. I can recommend some great reading material that goes into much more detail.
As for dry spells... they happen. Don't think I've ever met a someone who didn't have one. A four year dry spell is nasty and all your judgement might be out the window. Solution? Start small and start flirting with chicks everywhere. In the grocery store, at a restaurant, at the DMV - EVERYWHERE. Even online.
By the way, flirting is NOT sucking up. Flirting is the exact opposite of sucking up.
For example, let's say you find a chick on myspace. She's totally hot and she knows it. Tons of guys post on her profile sucking up to her. They think they're flirting, but they're not. They're LOSING. So how do you flirt with her?
DO NOT compliment her. Make fun of something in her pictures. For example, let's say she's posing in a bikini on her bed. Her bed is not made and her room is a mess. MAKE FUN OF THAT. "Sooo, the message here is: Put on bikini, make a huge mess. You're a horrible role model for women everywhere! Awwh man!" HAR HAR HAR HAR. See? It made me laugh. She'll laugh if she has a soul. If she doesn't have 27298234763415 friends, you'll probably hear back from her. Heh heh.
It doesn't make sense. Women will often always tell you to be nice and compliment, buy stuff, etc. They're completely wrong. That stuff might kinda work later on in a relationship (and should be tactfully used), but not when you're going full force in the dating world.
Throw away what's been programmed into your head about women and listen closer to your male instincts. You won't regret it. Basically keep them guessing, keep them curious, keep them intrigued. You = win.
Hell yeah long answer! Anyway.
I'm in the middle of Crisis Core. Cool game, has a decent Final Fantasy feel to it. I find myself analyzing game design more in depth lately than ever before. At times some of these games'll create some sort of desk punching HATE. It's not the fact that the game is hard. It's repetiion. I'm currently at the last boss of the game where the battle just keeps GOING and GOING. Half an hour later, I'm STILL fighting this battle. Crisis Core is a blend of action and RPG, so I'm constantly pressing buttons. The main issue here is that I can't fight the boss directly because he keeps throwing some minions at me. Before this boss battle there is a bit of a cutscene, which is fine and all, but YOU CAN'T SKIP THE CUTSCENE. 3 generations of cutscenes in Final Fantasy games, and they STILL employ this problem. I probably would have tried again if I didn't have to watch the cutscene again. It's not quite as bad as Final Fantasy 7 and 8 where you have to watch these extremely long summon animations. "Yeah yeah, you're big and badass." Blarg.
It's so many of those simple little mistakes that can just ruin the game. Nitpicking isn't exactly something I like to do, but part of creating a fulfilling experience in a game includes REMOVING annoyances. During the testing phase of the game, ask the testing team what exactly is annoying about the game and fix it! Making the player work for their experience isn't an annoyance. It's having to repeat cutscenes, struggle with controls, dealing with cheap ways to make the game longer (like having to chase someone around a town or whatever), and obnoxious repetition. Games have evolved beyond these things, so please stop throwing them in there!
I plan on walking the talk here someday. Game design is something I've always wanted to get into and I eventually will. I also believe these game design schools that are coming out aren't necessary - you either have it or you don't. I'd like to see if I have it. Rawr.
The Massive Eternal Question.
You know I will eventually post a REAL blog. For now I helps THE WARLD
I dated a girl awhile ago in which we broke up because she had to move. We stayed in touch but the contact has deteriorated to non-existent. I care for her a lot still I just don't have the guts to call her. What should I do, bro? - TJ
Man oh man. I'm not exactly sure I'm the best guy to be asking this question to. It's going to be very tough giving you the best unbiased advice on this subject. I've been in THIS exact situation about 234,426,743 times partically because I'm Mr. TouringBandGuy.
Anyway, calling her doesn't hurt anything. She'll be happy to hear from you, but if your intentions are to get back with her I would defininately gauge that one first before diving right in. See how things go and if there are sparks and stuff, bring it up. If not, cut your losses and move on. You'll really have to pay attention and rely on your gut/intuition on this. And if you DO get back together while you live far away from each other, well... I wish you the best.
Ok, so I'm slighly biased here. Good luck foo!
RAWRBDAY
In addition to the Rawrbday webcast, my cousin sent me this video.
Hurray!
Facepunchingly Good Advice.
Even more! I've been back and forth here going from working on band stuff and other web stuff. Then there's Oblivion. Meh!
Question!
hey you seem like a really down to earth dude. and ive grown to appreciate your (sexy) band more and more. you have really helped out my friend, whos like a little brother to me. i was wondering if you could help me out with something. you see im getting really pissed off on how he is geting treated. he says he doesnt care, but he doesnt deserve the shit that he gets. personally im pissed at the fucks who do do this to him. i do know its not my personal buisness, but i guess im just defensive. also last but not least i think this girl from work is into me, she just broke up with her boyfriend, and she seems to like to get close to me. shes cute and all, but girls are freaking confusing as a bisexual. please help me.
Hell yeah we're a sexy band. I'll make sure I pass that along to the guys. Yeeeah.
I understand that you might feel responsible for your buddy's well being with your circle of friends. Truth be told there's not a whole lot you CAN do. At times when he's having a rough time, just make sure you're supportive of him. Eventually he will stand on his own two feet and remove those people from his life. Just don't be one of those people, which I don't think you will be. Good friends are hard to find and it sounds like you're a good one. He will eventually stand up for himself, so just be there to get his back.
So you're confused as to whether this girl from work is into you or not? I tell you I used to be BAD at picking up on signals. Ironically enough I would find out much later after the said female found a new fling after giving up on me. No fun.
Things to look for:
- When talking, any time she touches you she's flirting with you. For instance if you tell her a joke and she laughs while touching your arm, that's a huge signal.
- When you're talking to her watch her eyes. If she maintains eye contact and looks at your mouth and back up to your eyes while you talk, that's another signal. It's very subtle but big.
- Eye contact is a fun one. For example, say you're across the room and you look at her and she looks back. When she looks away (and she will), don't break your eye contact. If she looks back and smiles or whatever, that's another good sign. This last one is a tricky one and some guys are afraid to try it since they'll be worried that it's "staring" or "creepy."
- Body language. This one can be tricky. If she leans towards you when you talk, that's another signal. If she bites her lower lip while smiling at you, that's a BIIIIIG one. There's tons more, but most of it is intuitive. I would recommend watching some movies where there's flirting and courting going on between a male and female. WATCH what the chick does when she's showing interest in the guy. It'll become very obvious once you understand.
Also, chicks do not normally make the first move. They generally do not ask you out on a date, nor will they move in for that first kiss. They will almost always be super subtle in their interests. They'll THINK they're being obvious, but from your perspective you really have to pay attention.
It does sound like this chick is interested. Test her a few more times and pay attention to the signals. Then make your move if you're interested. You move can include just asking her out or, when the timing is right (NOT at work), moving in for some sloppy face melding. Some call it kissing, but whatever.
Here's another question! I'm all, knowledgefacedguy.
Question: I've liked this one girl since we were freshmen. She's been through a couple relationships between then...but nothing serious. Now it's my senior year, and still haven't gone out with anyone yet. I'm planning on asking her out. Now it gets confusing. Her best friend, also a friend of mine just got out of a relationship with a complete ahole. She's all the sudden starting to talk to me a whole lot more. Oh, another thing that might not help also. My best friend likes girl #2, and he just got out of a relationship. Here are the options:
1. Continue with Girl #1.
2. Switch for Girl #2.
3. Look elsewhere, and just keep them friends
4. Explode.
I had to read that a few times to make sure I understand your dilemma.
I don't know if you're asking me to decide for you or not, but I really don't know much about these two. Sounds like you're very interested in girl #1 and a little interested in girl #2, so I would ask #1 first. Then explode. You can have #1 and #4 at the same time!
Good luck to ya!
I Should Get Paid for This.
More questions! Man, if I got paid for this, I'd have at least 20 bucks! Yeah. I could buy stuff like 50 tacos at Del Taco on Taco Tuesdays! Woa.
Here's the question:
Friends:
I dont know why, but ive always felt like a third wheel when it comes to hanging out with people. the only thing i can figure is that i have guess what you can call a soft personality, dont swear, quiet, ya know stuff like that. What should i do?
This may be a little more difficult
Last year, i became friends with this girl. i thought she was pretty chill so i asked her if she wanted to hang out. SUCCESS!. Every friday, my brother, his friend and mine that girl and i would all go to the mall and experience crazy shinaniganz. Sooner or later, i started to like her more than a friend. she found out and didnt really care. as soon as summer hit, our friend ship had really drifted away bigtime, but we still keep in touch. Over time, my friend and her have gotten to be closer friends and ive been kicked out of the picture. The creepy thing is that he is 3 years older than her, EWWW.
Girls are freaking confusing, ARG! what can i do?
I think I know what you mean by third wheel. I believe that feeling "like a 3rd wheel" isn't a bad thing, maybe you have a unique approach on things that people sometimes don't understand? I had a group of friends when I was way younger that I didn't relate to that well, and often I felt so different from them. Eventually I did meet some people that I did relate to more and ended up starting a dumb band with one of them. :P
The message here is that no matter HOW you feel, 3rd wheel or whatever, just be your own unique self and things will fall into place naturally.
The same thing applies to girls. The female gender can be extremely confusing because we think, "She's giving me signals and we have fun together, but why doesn't she feel the same way I do?" Oh the contradictions. Oh the backasswards logic. It's all there. Nothing is as it seems when it comes to chicks. NOTHING. You might hear her say one thing, but she really FEELS the exact opposite. It's mind boggling and has been driving men crazy for thousands upon thousands of years. Lucky for you you've got a brain and can figure this out. It's really simple when you stop overthinking it and just use your judgment and intuition.
First things first with this girl - it's too late. Sorry. It sucks, but it's too late. Time to cut your losses and move on. Your window of opportunity left you a while back. It's ok. This happens to all guys at some point. Matter of fact, many of us brainy quiet types get hit with the friend zone all the time. The best thing to do right now is to stay friends with her.
Not what you wanted to hear? Yeah I know. Trust me though, it'll make more sense as time goes by. It's essential for all males to have female friends. Keep her as your friend and be genuine about it. This shows that not only do you want her as your friend, you want to KEEP it that way. Keep doing those things that you always did. Stay in her friend zone. Actually you don't have a choice - you're already there, so that's no problem. :P
This also shows that you're over that whole crush you had on her and that could POSSIBLY become strangely attractive to her later, but don't count on that one bit.
Now why is it so important to have female friends?
When you're dating, having a healthy circle of friends is extremely attractive. Now don't run out and get a circle of friends JUST to get laid or meet chicks - that's against the guy code. You'll get asked to hand in your "Awesome Guy Card" immediately. You'll have your awesome circle of friends to be there to support you as you would them. Friends are far more valuable than any romantic relationship you'll get in. Some may disagree with me. If you lose your girlfriend, you'll always have your friends. Romantic relationships aren't nearly as stable and reliable as your buddies, even the female ones. Just remember that.
Fuck, I'm getting a bit off subject. Har har stupid coffee.
Chicks are inherently confusing, but it's even more of a battle if you don't understand yourself. Heh, if you can't understand how you operate how on earth can you understand others? Sounds crazy I know, but it's really a great place to start to get all of this figured out.
That's pretty much the first step. Beyond that is nitpicking on stuff like body language, eye contact, flirting, etc. That's a whole other topic for another time. :p
So in a nutshell just relax, be yourself, pursue the stuff that makes you happy, and you'll be ready when your quintessential female comes walking into your life. If she's not here yet, you're not ready for her.
Wow I impress myself. *flex*
Shattered Heart Tacos!
Got another question. One would think I know something about stuff! Wait, what?
Here.
ok here is my situation....
there is this guy he is four and a half years older than me but we hit it off really well. he isnt my actual boyfriend but he trusts me and i want to trust him. i love him.
well he is in arkansas doing some training to go to iraq in january. well he went to go meet this girl, and he is going to stay with her for the weekend. he promised me that he wasnt going to do anything but i know that most guys....well the guys that ive been with would do it seen as its there.
should i be worried that he will do things and not tell me?
i want to believe and trust his every word but i dont know if i can.
please give me advice...
- L
For starters, a 4.5 year age difference is just fine. It might be weird if he was 18 and you were 14, but your situation is legal so it's cool. Hell, I turn 28 this month and my last girlfriend was 5 years younger than me. Go me, eh?
Anyway. He's off training and about to leave the country for a while, so your situation just got complicated. This is where trust and communication will become the two single most important factors between you two
I think it's natural to worry about his faithfulness to you. However from a guy's perspective, it's incredibly annoying when we get stereotyped as liars and cheaters. You're probably not accusing him (at least I hope not), but it's easy to imply that you're secretly jealous and might not trust him. Let's look at a couple of facts:
- Men interact with women every day (unless World of Warcraft rules your life with an iron doom hammer).
- Men have female friends (well, the healthy ones :).
- Men might even have female friends who you might think are prettier than you are.
- Men could also still be good friends with ex-girlfriends whom might even share a complicated history together.
Trusting him while he's out there really depends on his personality and if he appreciates you. It's hard for me to say, "Yeah, trust him!" I just don't know the guy. If he hasn't given you any reason not to trust him, then I wouldn't worry about it.
The BEST way, in my experience, is to just support him. Encourage his social life. "You're hanging with Sally? Ok, have fun! Call me later, ok?" This establishes in many, many subtle ways you trust him and have faith in his fidelity.
And be GENUINE about it. If he asks, "You trust me, right?" The answer is, "Yes I do. Why shouldn't I?"
However, the only thing I'm not sure about is how you mentioned he's not actually your boyfriend. Hmmm. That's peculiar to me. The above advice really applies if you're committed to each other, but if you're not you really ought to find out where you stand with the guy. If he's standoffish about committing, I'd honestly move on. Sucks, I know, but it'll save you so much drama and heartache later on.
From a guy's point of view, if I'm deliberately not committing to a woman, I'm keeping my options open.
So... yeah. I feel for you. This stuff can really suck sometimes just like it can be the most awesome-est thing EVAR.
Hope that helps.
The web's state of being.
Touring began for me about 2 years ago. Roughly around then I had expressed a ton of interest in taking Pluh.com in an entirely different direction. I had this idea - which is a great idea - that would hypothetically be the next myspace or facebook or whatever. I did some web maintenance work earlier today and started to think about my massive Pluh.com rebuild. I came to the conclusion that another facebook or myspace isn't want people need or even want. Why?
Because it's already there. It's already something that's grown into a supergiant. I originally believed that having a supergiant of a website is what I wanted as a web developer. Visions of advertising dollars coming in danced through my head. I can't imagine what kind of headache that would also entail. Servers upon servers of maintenance, having to regulate time to run a company of that magnitude, etc. That wasn't what got me rethinking my Pluh.com plans though. What got me moving was with my new idea, the real personality, the customization, and the charm of what I had originally envisioned would be gone. It'll be a massive application where people are herded around like cattle via mouseclicks and keyboard strokes. It kind of goes against why I do what I do.
I think the web is going into a different direction now, something beyond the scope of clicking around and poking friends. I'm not just a developer - I'm also an entertainer, and that's something I often lose sight of.
I think my original vision needs to be breathed back to life, but with a stronger foundation. People want to be entertained, not herded, and that's something I plan on implementing again. I have to start back at the drawing board, try some different stuff, etc.
I won't toss aside my other ideas though. Who knows, I may find a better use for them.
Non-eternal questions.
Meeeh! So this past week I've spent so much time working on this new Psychostick DVD. Most of my time has gone to transferring video from tape to hard drive. An hour long video is about 15 gigs, aaaand... yeah I've filled up a 500 gig drive and had to go get another one. I have to do some stuff to our Psychostick myspace page AND .com page to shift focus towards our album fundraiser, so... yeah! Busy.
I did receive a few questions (all within a day!), so I answer them IN YOUR FACE.
"Whats it like to be in a band and what all do you need to begin one? Because we were wanting to start one ourselves. - Justin."
Well, being in a band is kind of like being married. Not that I would know what it's like to be married since I haven't been, though I'm told it's like being in a marriage.
Anyway, being in a band is a very atypical thing to do by society's standards. You know, go to school, get a job, have kids, etc. A band is quite the opposite of all those things in many ways and it's a very strange experience if you're not used to it. It almost feels like you're walking on a different plane of existence from those around you who are not experiencing it.
For me personally it's been a huge learning and growing experience. Your comfort zone gets demolished, at times you want to strangle your bandmates, you find out exactly how you handle stress, but in the end it's more than worth it when you walk on that stage. They way people react to your music, your creation, cannot be described. It can only be experienced.
I hope that helps.
"what do you do, when your ex-girlfriends friends, keep calling your phone, and telling you how awesome her new boyfriend is? - zac"
WOW.
This is tough to answer.
First of all, you're young (it says you're 14 on your profile). Chicks at THAT age can be extremely obnoxious. I find that when dealing with immature actions like that (which can sadly carry on throughout their lives in some cases) you counter with something they don't see coming.
Something that they won't have any way to get the upper hand.
Be humble and positive. Most people don't know how to deal with that. It's AWESOME.
Here's exactly what I would say.
"Really? He's that awesome? You know what? Good for them. I really hope they're happy."
Something along those lines would work. If they can't insult you or make you feel like crap, they'll never win. Not only that, but it'll generally make you feel better for wanting the best for everyone.
And be genuine about it. They might be playing this stupid little game, yet you are above the game by completely dismissing it and hoping for the best for everyone. Don't give in to that crap.
In the end, what you said will carry back to your ex-girlfriend and she'll actually appreciate that, even if you don't want her to. :p
"I need some advice. I've been friends with someone for about 4 years now. I went to his birthday party last week and I found out he has been a stoner for about 3 years. this hit me hard because I'm very anti-drug if that makes sense. I did not suspect a thing. What would you do in this situation? Should I keepin touch with him? - Adam"
You know, I've been in your situation. Yeah! I can actually say that. :)
Several years ago one of my oldest, bestest friends ended up telling me he was a stoner. I couldn't believe it at first because at the time, I was STRONGLY against drugs of every kind.
Thing is, he probably hasn't told you because he was worried about how you'd feel about the whole thing. Personally you can stand your moral ground and still be against it, but make things clear with him how you feel and how you don't want anything to do with it.
I find that when dealing with stoners or druggies in general you can either get angry, hate them, whatever, but that won't stop them from doing what they do. Letting them in your life all depends on how strongly against it you feel, but keep in mind the type of drugs also makes a difference in this choice too.
For example, I refuse to associate with people who are into the "drugs that can kill you," like heroine, coke, etc. Pot is really harmless. I personally don't do any drugs whatsoever, aside from the occasional Advil for a headache. HAR HAR. I've just never had any interest. You wouldn't believe how many people freak out when I tell them I've never tried pot. Very funny stuff.
Also, I find it hard to be around people who obsess with any type of substance, even alcohol. Too much of anything is bad.
That's all for now. More stuff coming as always. Hell yeah!
Warking awrt?
HOME! Finally. It's been a very long tour. To go into detail about why this is won't really make a whole lot of sense to most of you, but the tour yeilded many awesome connections and we finally hit some markets that we've missed out on for a very, VERY long time. Tennesse and Kentucky for starters. Good stuff!
I just added a "Fitness" category to Rawrb.com here. Bottom line: it's time to get in shape and stay there as long as possible. Couple of the dudes in Powerglove are fitness buffs (har har pun) and I picked their brains about what works for them. I learned quite a bit and am looking forward to trying some stuff out. I'll probably be talking about it more here as I progress. I've got a few months off from touring to be able to focus on it for a good hour a day or so. That's really all you need - people who go to the gym for more than an hour a day are honestly wasting their time. I'll rant on that one later along with the science behind it. Yes, it's not me thinking they're jerks - it's very BAD for you.
We're also starting on preproduction on the next Psychostick CD. FINALLY! The process of preproduction is probably going to take the longest. We've got so many songs written and tons of ideas to turn into songs. Then there's a DVD I'm going to start putting together. I'm gonna aim for an August release date for that there DVD, but I can't be for sure just yet until I get all of the footage pulled and organized. There's about 20 hour long tapes and probably a good 200+ clips from Anthony's digital camera.
That's a lot. Hurray for external hard disks.
Jeez, there's so much going on Psychostick related that I can't talk about yet. :)
Anyway, happy 4th and stuff. Gotta find a way to get ahold of my own PS3 and 360. Lots of awesome games came out lately and I'm lacking! Awrgh!