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Buddies
Warking awrt?
HOME! Finally. It's been a very long tour. To go into detail about why this is won't really make a whole lot of sense to most of you, but the tour yeilded many awesome connections and we finally hit some markets that we've missed out on for a very, VERY long time. Tennesse and Kentucky for starters. Good stuff!
I just added a "Fitness" category to Rawrb.com here. Bottom line: it's time to get in shape and stay there as long as possible. Couple of the dudes in Powerglove are fitness buffs (har har pun) and I picked their brains about what works for them. I learned quite a bit and am looking forward to trying some stuff out. I'll probably be talking about it more here as I progress. I've got a few months off from touring to be able to focus on it for a good hour a day or so. That's really all you need - people who go to the gym for more than an hour a day are honestly wasting their time. I'll rant on that one later along with the science behind it. Yes, it's not me thinking they're jerks - it's very BAD for you.
We're also starting on preproduction on the next Psychostick CD. FINALLY! The process of preproduction is probably going to take the longest. We've got so many songs written and tons of ideas to turn into songs. Then there's a DVD I'm going to start putting together. I'm gonna aim for an August release date for that there DVD, but I can't be for sure just yet until I get all of the footage pulled and organized. There's about 20 hour long tapes and probably a good 200+ clips from Anthony's digital camera.
That's a lot. Hurray for external hard disks.
Jeez, there's so much going on Psychostick related that I can't talk about yet. :)
Anyway, happy 4th and stuff. Gotta find a way to get ahold of my own PS3 and 360. Lots of awesome games came out lately and I'm lacking! Awrgh!
More touring, and big plans.
Got a question that came in. I get 'em sometimes and I respond directly, but this makes me look oh-so-good.
Name: fats mcfats
Subject: in-genious?
Question: how in the fuck do you switch from PS to EC. i mean fuck id think it gets confusing to me but you pull them shits off lkike its nothing...is it a natural talent or an in-genious way of having pure luck and fury my man....either way they both jam the fuck off my asshole and whatnot....by the way, your vvoie is amazing, bro...thats what got me into the stick in the first place...noit just BEER which owns everything...anyway i make no sense man peace
Well, thanks for the compliments. Switching isn't exactly something I try to think about I guess. It's more or less just "Hey Rawrb, we need to record this shit!" And there I am. There was about 6 or 7 years of experience behind those recordings, so it didn't happen overnight. Rawr.
Tour is getting better this time 'round - it started off a bit slow but picked up after Oklahoma. Shocking! Sorry Okieland, but you guys need some love in your music scene. Or, maybe it's something else? Who knows. Next time we're coming through there you will all know about it somehow.
I also have big plans outside of the band. It's a personal endeavor that I decided to pursue after I attended my grandfather's funeral. When death becomes a part of one's life, I think it's natural to want to make sure you live life to the fullest. So here I go, and them thar chips will fall where they may.
Evacuate Chicago - Veracity!
Just today we got the new Evacuate Chicago CD mastered. This CD turned out way better than I even imagined, and I imagine stuff a lot.
For those who are not aware, Evacuate Chicago is a side project of mine, Joshy from Psychostick, and Alex from Psychostick. Evacuate Chicago is basically a non-comedic version of Psychostick that was formed originally by Alex who wrote many songs that didn't fit Psychostick's style. I'd say about 2/3rds of it is VERY aggresive hardcore/metal, while the other 1/3rd is a bit more melodic.
Here are my thoughts and feelings on the individual songs:
- Occasional Letter 1 ("Pat yourself on the back because you're good at taking orders"): Josh revised the original lyrics and did a phenomenal job. This song hits me pretty hard since many of the systems in society are training us to be worker bees rather than independent thinkers. Great stuff.
- Nothing Like You ("You invalidate every fucking thing that I say"): An Alex composition. Don't you hate it when people just give you advice when you don't want it? They think they know you? Good intentions don't fix people. Sometimes you have to let them be and just be supportive.
- Deny ("She'll never think of you again"): The first song Alex ever wrote if I remember correctly. Breaking up is hard to do. Letting go completely is even harder. This song was my anthem in 2004 when Alex wrote it, and I don't think he even knew. :)
- Perfect Ratio ("You'll always get the best advice while you're sleeping"): A great song Alex wrote. I really dig this tune because I got experiment more with vocals.
- The Hole ("Gone already to my private hell"): Joshy was going through some serious crap when he wrote this. Tried to capture it the best I could.
- The Damage Has Been Done ("Do you ever regret?"): Fucking Alex. When I had to learn the rhythm of the chorus in rehearsal, I thought it was some mean prank he was playing on me. After I finally nailed it, it turned out brutal.
- Proof of Dark Matter ("Record number of times I've started over"): My favorite song on this CD. Why? The melody. I don't get that many opportunities to sing like this (most of the time I'm screaming), so... yay! The overall feel of this song I think most anyone can relate to. Well written by Alex. My buddy Rachel is playing the piano part at the end.
- Progress Beyond Repair ("I have embraced what you choose to ignore"): The truth hurts, ya know? Brutality written by Alex.
- Velociraptors ("Take a pill to wear you out"): A song about a nightmare Alex had. I'm very proud of how this song actually SOUNDS like a nightmare. Crazy!
- Time Lapse Photography ("Someday he might awake to find he's glad to get up"): Josh wrote this one. Life isn't about working the same job until the end. There's always a way out.
- Peace, Love, and Santa Claus ("Write your letters in cursive like wanting a love so desperately"): Another cool melodic song by Alex. Had some high parts that challenged me, but I think I did really well. Maybe it's the effects? Naw. It's me. HAR AHR
- Fine Line of Forgiveness ("You do not have the right to say, 'None of this is my fault you will learn to forgive one day'"): It's easy to tell someone to forgive, but actually forgiving is another story altogether. Written by Alex.
These songs should be available for purchase on the Snocap portion of the Evacuate Chicago myspace page any time now. Hope ya like 'em!
Decimating the list.
Did a few tiny things to Rawrb.com here. Biggest one you'll notice is that I can now set some blogs to private, which is something I'm very glad I did after going through a few of my past posts. Heh. Perhaps someday I'll allow registration that will give access to hand-picked people to read those private blogs. Perhaps.
I did a TON of stuff to TheDumb.org, most of which won't be noticed by your average interweb going guy. El Duderino will be able to administer TheDumb much easier now. Hell yeah!
Psychostick.com got a little facelift as well as a lot of front-end feature additions, such as an Advice Column and an Articles section. After I blog like an awesomeface here, I'm gonna head there and add a few more SEO tricks and optimizations. Time for more Mod rewrite magic! Don't you find this FASCINATING?!
I gotta get all this nerd out of my system before I hit the road in 2.5 weeks. Rawr.
After all this I'll be attacking the Psychostick DVD and finally, Pluh.com. I'll finally get to see what AJAX is capable of. From what I've seen on Facebook and Myspace, it's very versatile if you know how to use it properly.
Oh, tons of Psychostick merch is being manufactured as we speak. Yay!
Taking out the trash.
I've been home for a few weeks now from touring. I'm usually the busiest when we're not touring due to all the stuff that piles up. Preparing for the next tour takes precedence, then comes new merch designs. We got our store back up, which is really good, but more options are needed. We're also looking into accepting credit and debit cards at shows. Once I get a few more time sensitive stuff wrapped up, I'm gonna tackle that one.
Posters, done. Flyers, done. Website revisions, mostly done. The rest are just sprinkles on the e-cupcake that is Psychostick.com.
*long pause*
I miss writing. E-cupcake. That's just awesome.
*even longer pause*
Now I gotta get all philosphical.
Sometimes the answers come just as quickly as the questions. Seems that all the weird little concerns that I had since I've been home have been pretty much solved or simply dismissed. Now there's another phase I've moved into, which is more of an attempt to take a much closer look at my thoughts and where I'm going. I'm not about to go into specifics, but I simply must mention how grateful I am to having the friends that I have. It's nice knowing that no matter what happens with me, or how dumb I get, they've got my back.
"Don't worry about the future. It'll get here soon enough." - Albert Einstein
One interesting outlook is how far away "normal" life seems to be. How easy would it be to go back to that? It's easy to get a job with a fixed income. EASY. Compared to co-running this band, it's about as easy as breathing. The reassuring thing is that I'm never alone in this massive endeavor, especially since the really hard part has long since past. If I fell, I would be picked right back up. Even if this band things falls apart for whatever reason, I will be able to take any idea and turn it into something huge. It's freaking awesome knowing that.
Is being comfortable and "safe" worth risking your happiness over? You can have your cake and eat it too. Whomever said you can't needs a face-punching.
As I "take out the trash," I'll probably be blogging about it. Of course, blogging has a funny way of not being rhetorical, or just simply one-sided. I get a bit misunderstood... but I can understand how.
"Hey, I read your blog. You okay?"
Yes yes yes, I'm just fine.
A few closing thoughts:
- Buffy is such a stupid show, but I really enjoy it.
- Where the HELL is Dragon Quest IV DS? It's already TRANSLATED.
- Warcraft 3 = Sex
- Most DVD menu templates are lame.
- Stevie Wonder is a badass.
- Tech N9ne is amazing.
- I'm pretty sure age is just a number.
- Jagermeister loves us.
That's all.
Dane Cook is funny.
So, after a week of "tour-recovery" (which is more or less getting some sort of sleep schedule again), I'm back in the groove of doing stuff. By "stuff" I mean "holy crap I have stuff to do let's make a list and uhm, do that stuff that is on the list so I can get done with stuff."
Yup.
Making tour posters and flyers for The Dumb once all those tour dates are in (should be any day now). Then the actual site REALLY needs something interesting on it. I'm thinking all the dumb members might be enticed to come back and like, do stuff if there was stuff to do. Ideas? A few.
Psychostick's site is gonna have a bunch of new stuff soon too - some of them I'm taking directly from Pluh.com. Which ones? Can't tell ya. Pluh.com will be taking a completely new turn once I ah, get to it. Hah, yes - it's all at the mercy of "when I have TIME!" Actually time isn't the issue. It's a matter of getting the bigger fish fried, which is currently Psychostick. Sooooooo... yeah. All gonna be badassery either way.
And that's all I have at the moment. Oh wait, there's this thing that Jawrsh sent to me. Kinda funny - it's something that I used to make a lot of fun of.
I Guess Youll Do - Watch more free videos
Accountability and you!
Wow, what a tour. I didn't blog once at all on this crazy "Holy Crap We're Touring" tour. Our wireless card just broke down, so... I dunno. Lots of things need fixing when I get back home.
You can view various incidents with our trailer if you want to see how much crap we dealt with. The trailer went through 3 tires, 1 wheel, one axle, and one trailer jack. JUST during this tour. Of course, most of those incidents our manager was driving, so he received a lot of shit.
"Captain Jack-knife 180 Negativeface Roadripper" became his name. Thanks to Jimmy for taking initiative on that one.
We also lost a staff member. By "lost" I mean "let go." I ain't mentioning names or particular incidents, but I will talk about the whole professionalism aspect, which was up and down.
For starters, it's always better to talk to people on the phone about things like this rather than send an e-mail. Sounds like common sense, but we justified it rather stupidly. That was dumb on our part, regardless of how some of my friends argue the point. My defense for it was, this staff member was the type of person that was horrible at taking critisizm of any kind. They'd get real defensive and blame outside incidents even though the job wasn't getting done.
That trait is a BAD one. Accountability (which is the abililty to take responsibility for one's actions without excuse) is so important when you're running a business. Hell, even when you're working under someone. Just life in general.
Let's say, for example, you're working a job that assembles reports for your department. Your sole purpose is to gather statistics and reports and present them to your manager. One day you're in a rush, and you leave the reports sitting on your boss's desk.
When the reports are due, your boss asks you, "Where are your reports? They're late."
You respond, "Oh, I left them on your desk."
He responds, "I never did receive them."
You could easily try to make more excuses. Your boss could have misplaced them, thrown them away, blah blah blah. At this point it doesn't matter - your job isn't getting done. What matters is that you need to get those reports in his hand.
Best response: "I'll re-print them and put them in your hand. Give me a few minutes."
No excuses, no whining, no putting the blame on someone or something else. You took responsibility and fixed the problem.
Excuses and finger-pointing are lame. The people you work for don't care about any of that crap - they care about the job not getting done. They're not paying you to try and weasel your way out of a situation.
Just imagine - someone is working for you and you NEED them to do their part, otherwise your whole business is staggering. So this person starts to fail in many areas, and the excuses start flowing in.
"They haven't called me back yet."
"The copier is out of ink."
"My computer is really slow."
"I wasn't feeling good that day."
"I didn't get a lot of sleep last night."
What do you do? Your business is suffering! Eventually you have to step in and either fire and replace this person or take everything on yourself.
Of course, along with the excuses can come those who get really defensive when you critique them constructively. These types will have a much harder time succeeding in their field. Why? Think about this - how hard is it to approach someone and help them if their defense is always up.
Let's observe the obvious here: People who are like what I just mentioned are not easy to work with. If you're aspiring for success, it's far greater to keep them far and away from your business or even your personal life. What's another obvious aspect? You will never be able to change them. It's just as futile as trying to change a significant other to meet your standards. People you can't change, but you can change your situation for the better.
Not that fancy, but whatever.
I just updated Evacuate Chicago's site design to reflect the upcoming CD that we're recording right now. Nothing fancy, just kinda pretty. Much of the old content is garbled and crap, so I'll need to work that out. Gonna try to get that wrapped up tonight. Yeah!
Probably gonna record vocals too tonight for EC. Sweet.
Hmm what else. I gotta sort out all the "crap to do" in my head. There's a lot of it and if I don't get it in some sort of organize format, I'll get nothing done. Wow!
And what a blog I posted early last night. Errr, early this morning. Whatever.
The tour goes well!
Everything is going so crazy awesome that I haven't really had any time to do anything outside of touring. Shaky van syndrome and shows every day = lack of everything.
I especially love it when I keep getting asked for video clips and stuff while I'm on the road. Yeah, where and how am I supposed to do that? I'm on a LAPTOP. I have an external drive, but jeez, ripping video takes time. They're just gonna have to wait.
There's a lot more being asked of me too that I'm just astonished they think I can do these things. It's the lack of them knowing what the road is like, which is tough to convey to those.
It's like this. You know what it's like when you've been traveling all day, like on a plane of a bus, right? How tiring that is? Multiply that by eight, then go nuts on a stage, then do it 30 to 60 times in a row. That's what it's like.
But it's fun as hell. Strange how that works, no?
Spambots are breaking through my image verification. *sigh* I'd like to violently rip out the innards of those who write spambots. I hope I never meet one. Rather, they should hope to never meet me. :)
Lots of band stuff to do.
Here's a small list of things I gotta do. I don't include it all because much of it is hush-hush.
- Clean out that... exploded Rock Star residue from bottom of van. Gross.
- Update Psychostick promo page
- create more resources for the Dumb.
- Consider, and maybe proceed with, a forums migration from Pluh to Psychostick. Long story.
- Blarg Bog
- Fun Facts
- More show details (attach a flyer)
- zip code e-mail utility search
- Zipcode addon for The Dumb
- Updated on date in FAQ
- Rebuild of Psychostick back end
That's not even all of them. Woo. :)
Stupid band guys.
Just so everyone knows, no matter how big and famous a band gets, they all have "band guys" still in them. They're universal regardless of the success of the band. Musician creative types - talented and focused on many things, but bad with answering phone calls, returning phone calls, and many business related stuff.
Myself included on some levels. :)
That is all.
Reality again, but this time...
There's that turmoil feeling again. *rolls eyes*
I tell you one thing though, I ain't gonna whine about super personal stuff publicly anymore. When I do I look like, and feel like, some tool who's crying for attention that isn't necessary. It's just stuff I have to deal with in my profession. Gotta get over it.
So anyway, still busy. I'm oh-so-close to finishing this huge project that I started a couple weeks back. I really hope to have it done this week, then I'll post the results of my handiwork. Feels like I'm getting better at this web stuff. I was always hard on myself for that due to lack of clear direction, but now I have a much better grasp on the technology and results-driven mindset that was lacking in the past. Owning your own business, not just SAYING you own your own business, makes a huge difference. Does that make sense? Actually living off of your own business rather than starting a business and not living off of it is completely different. Drastically different. It seems painfully obvious, but to actually experience the difference is an entirely different... experience.
Yeah.
Pluh.com X (version 10 - how clever of me, no?) is slowly moving forward. Database design looks done, now I'm working on integrating it with vbulletin. Fun. Their code is so... hieroglyphical. Not only that, but I had to dig like crazy to find out how they used a simple insert query to add a user. It shows that 1) I have a lot to learn and 2) there's more to just a simple task when you have an enterprise sized application. I guess they want it that way to make it harder to hack? Probably not, I suspect. I'm sure it's all about being object oriented and super efficient. Looks like I'll have to learn more about OOP. AAAAND... I'm attacking AJAX too. I shall be KNOWLEDGE MAYUNN!
Josh picked me up from the airport yesterday. He talked about this zip code based e-mail app that I wrote for Psychostick's e-mail list. He called it "brilliant" and said I should "package it up and sell it." Hmm! Tempting. I forsee one minor detail, but I really think I could do this. Who knows. The app isn't that complicated, but then again, many awesome apps aren't at all complicated. They're USABLE. That's the secret to a good app: Usability! I are learned.
Also, we talked about the drastically changing music industry. Turns out that many artists are leaving their labels and working directly with distributors to release their music. The need for a record label is diminishing? How nuts is that! Madonna, Prince, and a few other big names are releasing their upcoming stuff for free. FREE. Itunes is about to change their distribution too; something about DRM being cheaper. I dunno the details, but the industry is changing. The old business model is failing; label bred stars like Britney Spears and Ashlee Simpson are no longer "cool." Radio generally sucks. MTV has nothing to do with music anymore. I'm just glad we, Psychostick, are in the position we're in. We have so much freedom it's nuts, and we plan on keeping it that way... goddamnit!
And... it's about fucking time the industry started changing. Things were WAY too label favoring.
In addition, CDs are becoming more of a hassle to me. Having all my music on one, 80 gig iPod is so much more preferred that hauling a case of CDs everywhere. I really look forward to movies being the same way; no more DVDs. Hell, games are moving in that direction too via apps like Steam. It'll save money, time, and use less materials overall. How awesome is that?
Anyway, I picked up Final Fantasy Tactics: The Lion Wars for the PSP. Good conversion with some slowdown issues. Stil fun as hell. So I'm gonna go play that now.
Shut up.
Any awesome recommendations for an iPod classic 80 gig case? I can't find one I like. They're all either lame looking or non-functional. Reply in comments with a link!
The Web Geekdom Explodes.
Whoooska.
So yeah, I've been working on sites like crazy lately. There's one I'm building completely from the ground up - control panel, shopping cart, the whole nine yards. This is something I've never been fully accustom to doing very frequently, so it's a tremendous amount of work that caught me off guard.
In retrospect, the rebuild of Pluh.com is coming along... gradually. I've finally documented everything that the new site is going to do. Funny thing is, it's starting off fairly simple but, thanks to the input of some friends, it's rather ingenious. I really can't wait to get that going. The project planning is done, now the "hard" part: the programming end. I have no idea how long this is going ot take me since it's something I'm doing when I'm NOT scrambling for income. I do have to put some priority into it though because it will (eventually) generate some serious revenue if it's presented right.
And I really think it can be... I just can't take any shortcuts and have to be EXTREMELY thorough. It'll be a whole new level of web application programming and design for me. Plus, I'll be throwing in a TON of Ajax. I was really floored by Facebook's Ajax implementation when I posted something on a friend's whiteboard thing. I put in a link, then it went to the site and allowed you to select an image FROM THAT SITE to use to represent the link. All Ajax. I picked up some material on it and I'm looking forward to doing some crazy stuff.
I'm forseeing a very fun and interactive site that'll generate some crazy awesome revenue. Then I'll hire programmers/designers far better than me to make it shine even more, and then... I'll go buy a Wii. :p
Anyway.
Some big Psychostick stuff going on. Our new CD hit the stores, and once again, it's in limited locations. *sigh* We're thinking that there HAS to be a better way to reach everyone than our current methods, so we're exploring some options. If only you KNEW what we have in the works. Plus some big changes are about to hit as well, which will all be revealed soon.
In a little over a week I'm gonna fly up to Cincinnati to see my girl, which'll be a welcome change of scenery from the mundane stuff lately. I'll still be working, which is nice to be able to do with what I do, so you'll no doubt see more from me on my site.
And will someone PLEASE buy Collective Underground?
Werd.
Chocolate Milk at 12:30 AM
I erased the vast majority of my last blog from a couple days ago. Or was it yesterday. Blah. I'll try NOT to talk about that kind of thing again; it's really something I'd rather not make public. Heh!
So if you haven't noticed, I did some stuff to this here site if you've been here before. For starters, the menu has been touched up with some additions. Wows. Obviously the css is updated. I'm not really that happy with how some of it is at the moment, but I'll tweak it some more later. I also added a comment system, which means you can now comment on any of my blogs. This was mostly just for me to get some coding practice in. I've been really striving to stick to object-oriented PHP, and while the objects are still a bit confusing to me, I'm starting to get a good grasp on how it all works.
I also added a portfolio for those who MIGHT be curious about my work. Some of you will probably wonder what the hell is going though my mind, but you know what? I couldn't give you a straight answer if I wanted. Yay!
Hopefully after I wrap up a couple of projects, one of which is HUGE (and well paying, heh), I'll finally be able to put some love into Pluh.com's new direction. I'm extremely excited to get started on it. My brain is constantly coming up with ideas that I think are pretty innovative. I think I'm nearing that one HUGE breakthrough, and when that hits, well... it hits. Or something.
*ahem*
(Had to get one. Thank you birthday money and my stupid impulsive nature.)
I think I'll be adding a photo album to this site next... then I'll mess with RSS feeds, and then maybe AJAX? So many things to learn.
Psychostick's next tour is almost booked completely. Gonna be a fun one!
And I hope to get out to visit my girl for a week or so soon. At this rate it's likely, hopefully by mid-October. I'll try to post some pictures here once that Photo album is up and running. We keep forgetting to take some dumb pictures together for some reason. She's hot. Not quite as hot as I am, but pretty close. Haha. :P
Ok, need sleep.
Time off, normal work days, taking a breather!
I've been off the road for a couple weeks now, and things that I've been a bit... ignorant about have caught up with me. Bills mostly. I'm currently doing some freelance work to get things squared away, and hopefully before the end of this month I'll have the vast majority of it at LEAST under control.
I also got some extra nice vacation time with my girl. Movies, video games, swimming; it was nice getting away from the computer a bit. She also got me a couple of nerdy shirts, which I'll most likely sport on stage. Hell yeah!
Oh, check this picture out. So awesome:
Let's see. Some questions came in in the Ask Rawrb section. Here they are!
Name: Brandon
Subj: How Do I...Question: I have a website (www.yayzorz.com) and I want to put up a form to let users subscribe to the blog & trivia sections via email. How would I go about doing that?
Also, got any ideas on what could improve the website?
Setting up a form required a couple of things, the front and back end. When people submit the form, something must happen with the data. If you want to store their e-mail address to notify them of stuff, try looking into e-mail list scripts on hotscripts.com and such.
Also... I noticed ya stole a couple of quotes from Pluh.com, heh. I also noticed your comic style resembles another I've seen somewhere. I'd focus a bit on originality. It's cool to have influences, but try finding your own style to set yourself apart. Otherwise people will label you as a copycat or something much worse.
Name: Aaron
Subject: Starting a band.Question: Hey Rawrb, love your band! My favrite song is Two Ton Paperweight! Anyway, I'm learning how to play a Bass Guitar and I'm thinking of starting a Metal band. How should I begin?
Ahh, the subject of starting a band. Can't be that hard, can it? Well, depending on the style you're going for, there are many different approaches. Two very important factors I think are CRUCIAL:
1. Finding the right bandmates. Anyone can start a band with anyone else, but finding the other bandmates you gel with the best is where most bands fail. I've seen so many great local bands in Phoenix just fall apart because they can't get along with each other.
2. Musicians that can challenge you and each other. Since you're learning bass right now, I'd try finding other bandmates that are close to the same skill level you are, or a bit more experienced. That way you can work together, eye to eye.
There's much more to tackle, such as style, the business aspect, tacos, etc. I'd focus on those first two credentials first, then go from there.
There ya have it.
I uploaded a new Psychostick design a couple of days ago. Gotta tweak it a bit and do some programmin', but I love the new look.
I go now. Sheeit!
The Ceiling is Trash.
Holy shit.
*ahem*
I can't say right now. I really can't. But we met a band the other night that we are huge fans of, and they ended up being huge fans of us, and there's a high HIGH likely hood we'll be touring with them very soon.
I wish I could say, but nothing is official yet. It'd be stupid for me to say. BUT it's extremely exciting and they have a huge following. We get in front of their crowd, it's ON! Tons of crap we're dealing with will be over, we'll actually start making money, and blah blah blah.
RAWR.
Coding is fun and nerdy.
I almost forgot how fun it was to code. Whee?
I'm doing a lot of work on Psychostick's gameplan. For starters, I'm almost done with a new feature that allows us to e-mail people on our e-mail list to notify them when we're gonna be in their area again. Basically if they're within 60 miles of the venue, they'll get an e-mail about the show at THAT particular venue. Cool eh?
So if you want to be notified when we are playing in your area, sign up here. Yay.
I also did a little work on Pluh.com. Josh and I thought that the biggest part of it's failure was that we tried to do EVERYTHING at once instead of starting with a few features and going from there. So, to start with something funny, I tweaked and started the advice column back up. We have a few really funny ones on there, and I have a feeling we'll have tons more once we get more questions coming in.
I've got a few other things to do for Psychostick before I can add anything else to Pluh.com. There's a EP video log I need to get together, then some graphic stuff... lots of BIG marketing coming up. :)
Off I go. Jerks!
The road and it's forking forks.
Man. I tell you, this whole struggling thing needs to end. We seem to be caught in some sort of loop where we have a good row of shows, then we have to drive so much all the money we made goes to gas, then we get low paying shows because they weren't booked far enough in advance, then we run out of money and blah blah blah...
It's dumb. However, we have a plan of action to take on that. I'll not get into it because it's mostly internal business stuff that really ain't your business, ya nosy jerk! :D
Nerd update: E3 is totally going apeshit right now. I want these games:
Castlevania: Dracula X:
Contra 4!
Mario Galaxy:
There's like a bunch more... like Final Fantasy Tactics: The Lion Wars for PSP. Talk about exactly what I need for the road. :o)
Looking forward to unwinding for a couple weeks in August after this tour ends. First, I'm going fishing and hopefully camping... something like that. Need to seriously get some family time in. After that, I'm gonna go home and try to make some extra money on the side doing some nerdy work... I hope I remember how to code. :) I also get to hopefully do some hush hush recording. AND I get to hang out and do absolutely nothing with my girl, which is long overdue already. She's lucky I'm so awesome. :p
Maybe someday I'll have something more constructive to write about. At the moment the whole "refine your system to eliminate stress" thing is in full effect. Solutions are so close, I can taste it. Tastes good. And I have two books I wanna write. I write so good.
As the World Dumbs.
Many interesting things.
So we finished recording the EP. I'm done with the art FINALLY. I now have to finish a couple of web projects... before Wednesday. Yeah, I did a little too much procrastinating. Lesson learned.Hard to believe I'm already about to leave on another tour. Nuts. Didn't I just get home?
I recall reading Rich Dad Poor Dad around 5 years ago and not fully understanding WHY he decided to give up all his comforts to risk taking on his real estate ventures. I remember thinking, "That's crazy. Him and his WIFE are living out of his car to chase after this."
For starters, what a wife. For her to have that much faith in her husband and support him through all of that took a lot of... well, everything.
Secondly, the amount of sacrifice he made drove him further. He was relentless. "I will make this work. I WILL find a way." That attitude. THAT'S why 5% of the population have 90% of the money out there. No, it's not a government conspiracy. It's not some underground movement to keep you poor. That 90% is readily available to you if you're willing to do what it takes to receive that money.
Know what happened? I'm going to spoil the book. He's a multi-millionaire. That's right. It was WORTH it. I can imagine him looking back on the days he lived out of his car saying, "I'd do it all over again."
Anything worth having is worth working for; striving for. This isn't just regarding money either. This goes for all aspects of life.
I think I'm gonna go take some risks now. Later. :)
O where to move, sayeth Rawrb!
Nerd alert: I just finished Phantasy Star IV on the PSP re-release. Good times.
So yeah, moving! The past couple of days I thought a bit about where I want to live. I've been in Phoenix since 2000 and I think my time here is up. Nothing against Phoenix or AZ, of course. Lots of great people and wonderful memories here, but I see absolutely no compelling reason to stay.
Of course, the actual move won't happen for a while. I've got a lot more touring to do and a shit-ton of stuff in storage that I can't relocate just yet.
Plus, heh - I'm not exactly sure where I'm going. I've got a few destinations in mind, like maybe going back to Texas. I love it there. I have a good amount of time to decide, so I'll see the country once or twice more before I choose. I don't like moving around too much, so I want to make sure my decision is the right one.
Out of Disk Space, HAR HAR
Taking a break from the recording. We're on the last song (New Years Irresolution or something like that). It's BRUTAL. The vocals are turning out way better since yesterday where I got past my stupid allergy crap. My voice was giving out much quicker than it should have during the recordings, which didn't make any sense because I had just finished our 3rd tour from playing a 30 to 45 minute show almost every night.
Then I went all out on Silent Night (which is anything but silent). After that I felt like recording all of Jolly Old Sadist, which I did. Turned out to be way better than we expected! So we're on the last song. Yay.
Artwork, ugh. We're going back and forth between some stuff. Should be interesting to say the least.
Anyway, thanks to you guys for your support lately. I understand so much more about what it's like to "be like water," so to speak.
It's about being prepared for change. Something you set your heart on can, and will, change in some form or fashion. It's so unhealthy to allow yourself to become attached to something... or someone. That doesn't mean to give up hope, it just means that change is always coming. I realized that and what happened to me happened for the BETTER. This insight came from it, for starters. I desperately needed to go through this. Now I know, and from now on I will do my best to be braced for change; sometimes adapting to it, sometimes changing my path for what's best for me.
My old boss told me, "There are two things that are constant. Death and Change. Taxes you can get around."
My addition to that is, "What determines success, happiness, and freedom depends entirely on how you deal with change."
Change is coming. It doesn't care if you want it to or not. Are you ready for it?
Sorry about that.
Sorry about my ridiculously emo blogs lately. I think I broke a record for the worlds fastest and most intense depression! I was hit by 12 tons of bricks yesterday, and I got it all out. I think what helped the most was my awesome and amazing friends being the shoulder I needed. Thank you Chris and Jarsh. I also think that being a generally positive minded person helped tremendously. I was also forced to really, truly, and utterly let go of many things that weren't helping me. Sure it hurts now, but I can't help but learn my lessons and grow stronger as a person. I also learned how to draw the line. Strike three, ya know? Turns out that after all this stuff, I was forced to think a bit more about the future. We don't all wanna tour forever. We want to do other stuff too; just right now Psychostick needs tons of attention and push. It's still a growing boy that needs nourishment and dumb. I think in a few years, we're gonna want to take time for ourselves and do other projects, get married, have kids, blah blah blah. Of course, Psychostick will still be around, for those of you who think that we'll hang that up. We'll keep writing songs and tour every so often. Yeah buddy. I guess getting older makes ya think a bit more about the future. I'll be 27 this August. I still feel more like 21 or 22 in many ways. So yeah, enough about that crap. Thanks all who put up with my not-so-regular-Rawrbness. Gotta go work on album art, which has hardly received my much needed attention since my dramafest. You guys so aren't ready for this EP. :)A Mighty Recap
Wow, what a long ass time for a real update. Har har!
First, I got Rawrb question.
Subject: Gamers inquery
I noticed in the booklet that came with your CD a pic of you standing in a Quake 3 Arena background. My question is do you play Quake 3 Arena if so do you play a specific mod? - Ben
How I miss Quake 3. I go all the way back to Doom II, buddy. My first online gaming fun was Duke 3D and the first Quake, which is still my favorite Quake. Rawr.
I haven't hopped online in a while to play. I played some Rocket Arena and CTF for the most part, but my "specialty" was 1 on 1s and team deathmatch. Ahhh.
Let's see... what's been going on with meh.
For starters, we're at about 17,000 CDs sold. Fucking insanity. Hopefully once we get our next song pushed to the radio, it'll go up more. We're also working on getting on a bigger tour and maybe a festival type tour, like Sounds of the Underground or the like.
So we'll see what happens with that. :)
The tour we're on right now has been pure badassery. We love our Indorphine buddies; not only are they really cool fellers, their musical style is so complimentary to our style. Great match.
Most of the shows on the tour have been good, some not so good, but the Florida dates have been exceptional. Nothing like the 4700+ crowd in Minneapolis, but still some great shows.
Speaking of shows, I've got to see a lot of music scenes and local bands from these scenes. Then I think about my own music scene in Phoenix, and it breaks my heart. It's not like they're not capable of having a great scene. They most certainly are. They're just bitter and cynical. Understandably, I guess, but at the same time there are some that need a good smacking around. Some in particular who have been in many bands and have not sold more than 100 CDs.
It's not that they're not talented enough. It's more of a quality control sort of thing. It's more of a originality thing. And most of all, attitude, persistence, and real dedication. I'm not talking about a kinda/sorta thing. If they love their music enough, and being a musician enough, they'll find a way. I just keep seeing laziness and cynical fuckers. Or, worse, yet, fuckers who put their energy into crap they can't really control, like trends, other people, and politics, for example.
Ugh.
Plus they expect for it to happen overnight. Magic record contract = instant success, right?! Sorry... doesn't work that way. Long term success as a band doesn't happen in a week, month, or even a year. It takes time.
Psychostick is almost 7 years old. Yep. things didn't start happening until last year, 2006!
Something to chew on if you want to do the music thing for a living. :)
Anyway. Just had to vent a little.
Personally, I'm doing alright. It's been a lot less, uhh, dumb for me. I started to realize that I put way to much energy into crap that didn't really need it.
I do, though I don't like to admit it, get antsy at times. Antsy, as in, wondering-what-the-future-holds-antsy. It's all about patience. Lucky for me--no, wait. It has nothing to do with luck. I was going to say, "Lucky for me, I've got tons and tons to do to keep me busy to bring that future closer," but I'm here because of the effort and work I put into my band and crap. So yeah, that.
Here's a tip for you guys: Give any girl a 3 week trial before you take any further steps. Test her a little to see how collected she is as a person. Many will disagree with some of the tactics I recommend, but whatever. For example, after about a week or so, get yourself nice and busy and make yourself scarce for a few days. If she freaks out, obviously you have a clinger and someone who'll be high maintenance. If that's your thing... well, whatever.
Let's see... yeah, usually after 3 weeks she'll either a) continue to kick ass because that's how she really is, or b) get tired of being fake and become insane.
Yes!
Or, better yet, watch a couple of cool ones snag a boyfriend at the last minute. Hawr hawr, whatever.
Can't sweat that kind of stuff, or you'll become a dehydrated corpse.
Gonna eat soon. I go. RAWR.
No update makes you DIE!
Well, Psychostick is moving forward some more.
We've got the NCAP (I think that's what it's called) thing going on at Best Buy. If you haven't noticed yet, they put us up for sale on there AND you'll find us featured when you walk in. Very cool.
Plus we're running some commercials on MTV2. Not sure exactly when they run, but they're up there.
Then there's something gonna happen with FYE that's in the works. More info as I learn it!
We've got a couple of pieces of new merch coming out very soon. I'm toying around with new shirt designs to keep things fresh. New girl shirt design and new sticker design! Be explodingly afraid!
So there's the business end of it.
On the personal front: No, I don't have a girlfriend. I got this question a bunch for some reason. I don't even know why the fuck I'm telling you this. I'm kinda seeing someone at the moment, but it's far from being a relationship. It could be later I guess. Who knows.
I know you're all disappointed. That makes me happy. HAR HARH AR HARHARHARHRA
I got a question submitted to me:
"what happen should i do if my girlfreind is really stupid and she loves attention from other guys and she still loves you she "says" but i know what to do already but, i wanna ask you because you will have a funny answer. - Joe"
Glad you know what to do. Saves me all the trouble explaining the psychology behind what's really going on. Score! Swish! Tacos!
What a question.
Hurray? I got my first "legitimate" ask Rawrb question:
"My wife won't have sex with me, can you tell me how to make her have sex with me?"
- Bobby
Sorry. I mean, if you're trying to MAKE her have sex with you, there's a whole other layer of issues there. Of course this question isn't serious, I just wanted to post it because it was the first question I got. Har har.
This crazy tour is almost over. I am fucking happy with how things turned out this time. Last tour, with some good points, killed us financially. Now we're doing much better. CD sales are going up, we've got bigger shows in the works, and a better booking agency. Yay!
I am gonna have about a 1.5 week vacation to myself after Christmas. I am off to see a special lady. It's gonna be a shitton of fun. She and I aren't anything "official," which is good considering my situation and her situation. But I do miss her terribly and can't fucking wait to get there. Rawr.
And we have a LOT of Psychostick stuff in the works. Not just music related either. Well, it's ALL music related if you get retarded about it. Bleh!
Finally, a solution.
Weird, weird. Normally I think of a million things to write about, but at the moment I'm trying to remember what I wanted to say. I finally have a few minutes between driving, shows, and restless nights. Wooa!
First and foremost, the tour is going really, really well. We're playing, on average, 5 to 6 shows a week. FINALLY. The last tour was closer to something like 3 shows a week. When you have too many days off, you lost money and get impatient. Dumb!
Plus we just found out that our CD will finally get into 95% of all the Best Buys AND all of the Trans World related stores. So awesome. This is something like 40% of the retail market for CDs, and that's a HUGE step forward. Amazing stuff; things have been so insane lately that it's almost overwhelming. Rawr.
On a different note, a buddy of mine on myspace posed an interesting question:
"Do you ever think about how difficult it must be to have a serious relationship while on the road?"
I don't really like talking about this even though it's on my mind quite a bit. Her question is very valid though, because I will have to face this sooner or later.
Alex (my drummer) just officially started something up with his new girlfriend, which is badass of course. Will their path be that difficult because we tour so much? I don't really think so.
Of course, the "wise" decision would be not to get involved with anyone until things really start to stabilize. Who knows how long that will take, for starters. I mean, we've been on the road almost the entire latter half of 2006, and that's just two tours. Next year is already starting to look extremely busy, between touring and recording. My overall time off will be very minimal, I can already tell.
It's a tough situation to face. It's obvious to me that the best thing to do is listen to my gut; or just what feels right. I don't think that I, personally, have any problem being involved with someone exclusively while touring. I think that it, in particular, has a problem with me. It's a cold reality that I've faced many times before, not just because of touring, but because of distance. I've faced it multiple times, over and over. Something clearly isn't right with my decision making process if I continue to find myself in these scenarios.
I think the ultimate question is, "What do I really, really want without doubt, fear, worry, anxiety, etc?"
There's my emotional half telling me that the comfort and stability of a commitment is always oh-so-nice and the best way to go. Of course it's nice, and sometimes it's the best way to go. It really, REALLY depends on where a person is in their life in order to make decisions like this.
The logistical half knows for a FACT that while I'm in this situation, the best thing to do is stay focused on what's in front of me and not be jarred by this kind of dramatic nonsense. Heh, but the logistical side of me never judges situations like this very well, so I can't count on that.
Since I have between now and, well, when I DIE to make that sort of decision, I should probably just take care of business WHILE doing what feels right. At this very moment, the best solution for me would be to remain where I am right now and take care of business. I mean, as long as I'm doing this band stuff, it doesn't matter where I live and where she lives; it'll always have distance.
ALWAYS.
It's just time to get MY life together. Anything else can wait!
Wow, I just solved my own dilemma. Amazing!
You may ask. What?
Guess what? I did something. I was out of the coding world for a while, but I got back into it. Haha. I added a new feature to this site. It's not much, but it's a nice SPAM FREE step forward, something that I've always struggled with.
Yes, you can now Ask Rawrb. Don't use it, because HATE
Impressive, yes?
Well, Psychostick's 2nd tour is starting on Friday. I'm so ready to go... I did some contract work for a good friend for about a week, so money is good. Although something was definitely confirmed; I'm not into working for someone anymore. Granted I'm very appreciative of all the opportunities I've had since I was eighteen years old with the web jobs, I just ain't into the routine lifestyle anymore. You know: get up, go to job, come home, sleep.
And with the crazy no-day-is-the-same thing going on, who the hell can go back to the grind?
Some guy named Jim, maybe.
There's a lot going on in my personal life right now, but I don't think I want to talk about it. It's a bittersweet, I guess. I want what I can't have, over and over again. It's a lot of fun though, that much I'll say. It's just...
Bah, nevermind. I already know what I'm gonna do, so I'm done with that.
I'm off to bed to play some Final Fantasy V, jerks.
Reflections on the first tour!
Reflections on the first tour!We've been home for about, oh... a week or so. It's kinda nice to be back, but at the same time I want more touring. Touring is such a rush; sometimes it's rough, sometimes you can face some serious hardships, but it's all worth it when you walk off stage and spend an hour signing autographs and meeting fans.
Every day we hear about new radio stations picking us up. Every day something amazing happens. The next tour is looking to be absolutely amazing. We're getting paid more (yay), the actual dates will be booked far enough in advance to really promote them. This means that we'll have more people show up! WOW! From there, we've got our sights set on much bigger tours provided we can get enough sales. So buy a CD, even if you already have one or more. :D
A few days ago me and the guys had to do something that was extremely tough. We had to fire our second guitarist, Vince. How do you tell someone that they're not cutting it right to their face while they're your friend at the same time? It wasn't easy to do this, but it had to be done. The reaction from the fans have been pretty minimal; a few have been upset, but most are really just ignoring it and supporting the band. This is good.
Naturally some drama did creep up as a result of this. I find it very funny when someone makes assumptions about this when they know absolutely NOTHING about a situation. It's so much easier to dish out judgement than to take a closer look and go, "What really happened here?"
What's done is done though, and it was best for Psychostick. If any of you think you know what really went on, you don't. You're not even close. So trust us on this; we know what's best for this band, both short term and long term.
Anyway.
One of my best friends and I had a small conflict a while back. It was over a female, which did catch me a bit off guard. How does two men deal with this, especially when they're best friends?
It's hard letting something go that you really want. When I stood back and took a deep look at the entire situation, I took into account what was at risk. My friendships are far more important than an attraction to a pretty girl. Things turned out much better now; they're very content with each other and I still have my good friend.
(of course, I think next time I'll have to call dibs faster :p )
My whole "love life" is taking a back seat for a ridiculously long time I think. None of it feels right anyway, not with all this other stuff going on. My gut and instincts are telling me to focus on my purpose, and if anything else is worth my time and energy, definitely pursue it.
Mike brought up an interesting idea about moving somewhere else (east coast!). We've all talked about it before, but... we'll have to see. Right now since we're practically not "living" anywhere, it'd be totally pointless to move somewhere.
2007 is going to be a tremendous year for me and Psychostick.
Lots of time. Lots of time.
Well, things have been extremely interesting lately.
The band stuff is going well despite some bumps in the road. But... some of them are personal so I won't get into it.
Something interesting. I have been... working on some things. The more I learn about people and my situation, the more I start to question a lot of things. A lot of my personal situations come under question as well. The more I start to define my personal boundaries, the less restricted I feel as a person. I start to really get a grasp on what I really, really want in life.
So, there are a few things I bring into question constantly. I'm not going to really talk about them here... heh.
The tour is going better, but the next one is looking really good. We're all over the place on college radios and FM stations. It's all because of me.
Is it May yet?
Well, long time no blog. I'm here in uh, Kansas. I've actually been "aching" to blog for a while now. I had a blog that was actually posted for a while that was ON this page, but it was at the very bottom. Fixed!?
Plus (like now... ok, not now) I usually have someone looking over my shoulder when I'm typing. I'm one of those guys who doesn't like that. Bleh!
Well, where can I start. We played a bunch of shows and had about a week off to drive home and recouperate or some crap. We finished the first "leg" of this tour at Salem, Oregon, then drove through California to get home to Phoenix. We stopped on the way to spend time with her (I mentioned her in my last blog), which was a strange experience for me. The first day I was there I wasn't very comfortable for some reason; I guess I had one of those nuclear emotion explosions and didn't really know how to act. It annoyed me because that wasn't "me" in a sense. I got more comfortable the next day, but still wasn't balanced. Then we left. Awww man!
(I kind of wonder if she thought I was acting like a douche, but whatever :p)
At this point I'm sorting a lot of things out since touring is my life (at least for now). I had a great time and really enjoyed being around her, and it left me with more stuff to deal with on my end. Well, I have plenty of time to do that, being that I'm on the road with pretty much nothing but me and my brains. All I can do really is focus on this band stuff and where it's going.
With that in mind, the direction things are going with Psychostick are amazing. We've got a CD coming out nationwide in less than a week, plus ringtones are selling very well (I think). I can't wait to see what happens in the coming months... :D
Ok, I go now.
The Rawrb in Florida!
Driving to Orlando, Florida. Well, I'm in shotgun. Bleh.
Great show tonight; starting to get better at nailing some tougher singing parts. My range is getting more solid; more or less I've finally stopped sucking live. I was never horrible, but many times I could not hit that Two Ton singing part well enough for me to be satisfied. That's a bit different story now with all the practice I get with the live shows. My only qualm is being out of shape to where I have a hard time catching my breath on stage. I am getting better at it though, so... hurray?!
Anyway, the issue mentioned in my last blog hasn't really been resolved yet. Normally I'd just go for it, but... it's a bit complicated. There's a small "conflict" (if you can even call it that) that I think I'm gonna work through it. Gonna talk through it with them, and go from there. To be completely honest, I don't think anything will come of it. I'm 50/50 on either just dismissing it completely, or going for it full out.
Sorry for being vague... well, not really. I just don't like going into overly obvious detail over these personal things.
Ugh, I highly dislike this. This state of uncertainty.
Wait a minute.... wait.
Fuck this. Look at me, yammering on about a silly situation that really isn't anything to begin with. Fuck this.
I'm dropping it. Ain't gonna worry about it any-fucking-more. Done, over, boom. I'll keep my eyes out for the next opportunity, and when it comes around, I'll be ready and NOT allow some silly dumb nonsense like this burn my energy again.
Whoo, that feels bettar.
Feel the feelings of your feelings!
Interesting times right now. Obviously because we're on tour, but it's given me even more time to seriously reflect on a lot of cha-cha.
I've been meeting a lot of people on the road, which is something I'm pretty much not used to. Sometimes it's a bit much for me and I have to get away from all the noise and such. I'm pretty introvertive by nature, so being completely surrounded by extroverts can drive me up the wall a bit. But only a bit. Of course, when you're surrounded by them, you start to become them. When I get home, I'll probably end up wanting to go dancing at clubs. I just gotta dance.
Har har.
Part of meeting people comes with some interesting... experiences. Nothing like what you're thinking, of course. Sort of.
Most people I have talked to are male, and the females I do talk to (on this tour) are generally not my type. I am picky as they get too, so most of the time I just shake hands, give hugs, etc.
I did meet someone RARE though, the particular type that I am attracted to. Very genuine; no bullshit, no drama, fun to be around, etc. Of course, being on tour makes dating practically impossible, so I seriously doubt anything will come of it anyway. I am debating on whether or not I'll actually start telling her all this stuff. Of course, asking anyone for advice would say, "Fuck it man, go for it! Whatever happens happens!" Understand though that it's not THAT simple, because I AM on tour and probably will be for a very long time for many years. Not only that, she's far from where I am (on tour and off tour), and I've done that long distance stuff far too many times.
But there is something there, and I can't ignore that.
I think I just need to relax though. There's a couple more conflicts I have to work out if I am to move forward... bleh, who knows.
I lost my cellphone in Wilmington, NC. It was a fucking Treo too. FUCK!
OMG I AM ON TOUR OMG OMG
So I'm sitting here in Mason, West Virginia on tour right now. We've had some show craziness, such as reschedules and whatnot. We've been taking in a ton of footage and some pictures, which is GOOD, but I don't know when I'll be able to really dig down and edit them for online purposes. We also have tomorrow off, so... perhaps I can do something with them. Who knows.
Being on tour is kinda like being a hobo. Kinda. We live in a van, mooch off of fans and friends who are gracious enough to take us in, shower and stuff as much as possible (luckily I don't smell that bad after a show, heh), and so forth. Often times we forget what day of the week it is. Sandwiches are cheaper than fast food! Bob Evans is a fucking awesome place to eat. Uhh... Ohio and West Virginia are beautiful. Yes, I said that word. You will explode now.
I have not blogged in ages, which is unlike me, but the tour does make it difficult. For starters, while we do have an internet connection on the road, we don't really have a lot of time to actually get online. The freaking battery on this laptop is poop. Plus the AC adaptor thing for the van is poop now for SOME reason. So the only time we can really get online and do something productive is when there's a power outlet, which is only when we're stopped and not moving band shit. Interesting!
What's really funny is some of the stuff we've heard about touring from other "experts." The biggest one in particular is: "You guys are gonna hate each other after the first week." Wow! That's 100% crap. We do a great job of making jokes, laughing, and putting on headphones when we need to be "alone." Luckily we're all pretty positive people and very focused on keeping drama out of our lives, so things are going fairly smoothly.
Anyway.
I've been meeting a ton of people on this tour. Of course, the number one question I get is, "Do you get groupiez LOLLERSKATES?!" Haha, you'll never know because I won't tell.
Bye!
This blog contains pelvic thrusts.
Why am I listening to Jewel? Because she needs the RawrbRod.
First off, I do apologize to the millions upon millions of you Rawrb blog readers for the lack of updates. Life has been like this lately:
- Wake up after not getting enough sleep due to excitement of touring, being in stores, etc.
- Force myself to focus at work to make sure they're squared away when I leave.
- Come home, mentally exhausted, usually taking a nap.
- Wake up, attack list of to-dos that must be done before we tour.
- Go to hot tub.
- Get really sleepy, try to sleep.
Of course, somewhere in there you gotta throw in this newfangled sore throat of death, NOT from singing, but from consuming too much beer after a rehearsal. Get this: alchohol is bad for your throat and/or voice! So this'll limit my beer consumption on this tour. That's cool though, because I'll make up for that with pelvic thrusts.
Aside from playing tons of shows, I'm really excited to redirect my energies to projects I've had practically NO time for in the past. Pluh.com is the first one I'm really gonna hit hard. I've got tons of articles I want to write, plus many other horrendously stupid movies I want to make. It's going to be really, REALLY nice to do what I want with my time.
But, I think I'll spend that first week sleeping.
There's so much I want to talk about, but I'm so damn sleepy. Next time!?
Get in "shape?!"
I know I just typed out a huge blog like 2 days ago. It's late and I'm not sleepy!
So I've decided that I'm gonna start back up on my physical fitness training thing (again). This time around I'm taking a slightly different approach. The last few times I literally forced myself to do it. I dunno about any of you, but if I force myself to do something, I end up resenting the very thing I'm doing. After about a week I start giving up, and I end up in this downward spiral.
After all the positive affirmations that have been entering in my life lately, I think now is the best time to get this going. Since we'll be touring in less than a month, I figure being in a bit of better physical shape will help my overall performance. I'm a bit overweight for my height and stature, so why not start now? I'll go running in the morning, do some weight training, ride my bike to work, etc. I think tomorrow morning I'll try swimming some laps for a good 20 minutes. That I think I'll enjoy a LOT. I'm also gonna take my bike on tour with us so that I can go riding around.
I mean... I don't do ANYTHING aerobic. AT ALL. That's bad.
I'm gonna add a commenting system to this page soon enough. I have to make sure I have a strong filtering system in place. I have some code written for this, so we'll see what I can do. Yay!
I just read my last blog, and... hah, wow. Puts a smile on my face. RAWR
Okay, NOW I'm sleepy.
Thank you universe.
I don't think I've felt this happy since... well, ever.
Just last week Psychostick signed a distribution agreement with Rock Ridge Music for our current album. It was a very strange experience, but after some delegation careful consideration, we decided that it was a great move for the 'stick and much better than the "instant" gratification with a major label. We collectively swore off major labels after seeing what happened to our friends in From Zero when they signed to Arista. Without going into too much detail, let's just say they were forced to abandon that which got them signed in the first place. Silly, silly major labels. Hopefully someday they'll learn. I wouldn't count on it though.
So yeah, distribution! We're totally excited about this. We had to take down our online sales though for now. There's more details behind this I can't mention, but it's all very, very good.
On top of that, we've got a tour coming up in less than a month. We're scrambling to get ready in every way. It's kind of annoying waiting for more tour dates, but the cogs are turning. I'm anticipating the rest of the dates any day now.
I can't even begin to imagine being on the road for something like SEVEN weeks. I wake up, go somewhere I've never been before, play in front of hundreds (hopefully thousands) of people I've never met or seen before. Then I do it over and over again. That's it, I've decided - this is going to be my life. It's just so much more fulfilling than clocking in and out every day, so to speak. My current day job is great and I really like the company and people I work with, but Psychostick is a project we've been nursing for over 6 years! The wait, the struggle, the drama, the hard work - everything has been worth it, and I'd do it all over again without any hesitation. I think most of you would agree.
"So be it." - The Evil Emperawr!
Anyway, on to something more personal. Close your browser.
You know that saying, "All things happen for a reason?" I used to be all, "NERR NERR, that's stupid crappy mystical bullshit!" But as I move further and further through this crazy insane journey called life, I'm starting to believe.
No, this isn't a religious thing, nor is it some new-age hippie crap.
I've been single for about 2 and half years now, and not because I can't find someone like you might assume (die). I had gone through two serious relationships; the first being a horrible, gut-wrenching experience that taught me many vital lessons, and the second being absolutely amazing in every possible way. The first one obviously crashed and burned, but when the second one didn't work, I was at a complete loss. How could such a great thing not work? Isn't a great relationship supposed to work?
I spent the first year completely lost. Most of my energy went into deciphering my confused state of mind. The next year and a half went into a self-discovery phase. No, it's not a second puberty. All the questions and all the wondering were indeed answered, but more importantly, I truly discovered why it didn't work.
I wasn't ready!
My mind had not grown up and matured. There was a huge part of something that I should have been taught as a child that was missing. I don't blame my parents though, that would be a waste of time. Physically I was a man (I still am... heh), but mentally I was not. This wasn't obvious to me until I started diving deep into my psyche to start sorting out my fears and other negative emotions.
So the great relationship had to end! I just wasn't ready for it.
However, I can say that the whole experience I had with the great relationship was something that I'll never forget. It put a lot of shattered pieces of my life back together and created a powerful resolve I cannot describe. She was, and still is, an unbelieveably amazing person. I'll always be so very grateful that we shared all those remarkable times together. I don't think a whole lot of people can say they had something that genuine. I'm just really glad to know that something like that can exist, and I won't ever settle for anything/anyone less.
(I know she's reading this right now too. All I have to say is: Thank you. You changed my life for the better, and I will never forget that. Great things are coming your way. Something like great karma... or chocolate. Hah!)
The Secret!
I think the most frustrating thing about business is waiting. Right now there are two HUGE Psychostick announcements that are on the brink of... being announced. One of them is a tour, and the other I can't mention. The tour announcement is freaking awesome and HUGE for us, but I have to wait for the "OK" to post it officially. It sucks waiting. The best way to describe it is being the 1st in line for a brand new roller-coaster, and you're sitting there watching the staff put some finishing touches on the ride. Something like that. OR, it's like you've waited 6 years for a game to come out, and you're 1 hour away from going home to play it.
Speaking of games! Half-life 2: Episode 1 came out yesterday. I started the download last night, so it should be done by now. I hear it lives up to the series and leaves you with more questions. You know, kinda like X-Files did or most animes do. Anyway, I plan on locking myself in my room tonight and playing through it (it's supposed to be about 4 to 5 hours long). That's right! This is how I'm spending my Friday night: Video games.
I was also on Shacknews the other day actually interacting on their community. Every day they have a couple of news posts where most of the community asks general questions ranging from "video games" to "what to buy your girlfriend for her birthday." Anyway, every so often you'll see some highly obscene posts from some kids on there, which is pretty common in any community. I see these all the time, and the moderators usually leave them alone for some reason.
Anyway, I posted a question about online dating. Something like, "Where are the good free places because I have no clue where to look?" I got a lot of responses and the thread was positive and going really well. Then out of NOWHERE, a moderator deletes the post. This isn't the first time this has happened there either where my legitimate posts are deleted. Maybe the post wasn't "legit" in regards to Shacknews being a gaming site - but then again, some kid was talking about how he saw some lady wank in a grocery store, and they let that go.
I wasn't exactly angry (I got the info I wanted), but that didn't make any sense to me. I quickly asked who was moderating the forum and no one responsed. So, I promptly cancelled my Mercury account (which costs $5 a month). The owners lost my business because of inconsistent business practice. What are the posting standards? Why was it deleted? They didn't even tell me! "It's okay to post stuff about public masturbation, but a more legit post like dating is strictly forbidden!" So, I blacklisted Shacknews from my "sites to visit." I don't blame the owners; they're too busy running the actual site than to scan thousands of posts a day for content. To combat this, they "hire" a bunch of elitist kids to delete posts they personally don't approve of.
Oh well. More time for me to do something more constructive!
As for online dating, I have been researching that here and there for a while now. It failed for me a long time ago, but I decided to try it again. I picked up more DeAngelo material regarding it and absorbed the information. Turns out I had been doing everything backwards. The critical counter intuitive strikes again.
After all that I decided the other day that online dating is a bad idea for me right now. Har har! I'm about to tour and I've got so many more important things to work on. There's just no room for it in my day. Maybe some other time. It's great knowing that I know exactly how to handle things in that arena. Heh heh.
Oh, I just saw a movie called The Secret. Fucking amazing. If any of you ever wondered why things happen the way they do, SEE THIS MOVIE. You ever have a bad day? Of course you have. There is a reason for it. GO WATCH THIS MOVIE NOW. It changed my life.
-Rawrb!
Ohhh, more changes!
Wow, it's starting to look like a website now!
Got the mod-rewrite and database backend working now. Gonna do more later, but I'm gonna go play FEAR instead. HAR HAR
BLAR
Look what I made.
The response to this video has been crazy. It took me like... no time at all to assemble this vid. So I can do a bunch of these to keep the fans somewhat fulfilled until we hit the road.
Speaking of hitting the road... heh, we now have two big opportunities. Waiting on some more detail and confirmation. Most of it is seeing if the other parties will walk the talk. Should know something more in the coming weeks. I'm very excited to see how it'll turn out, and FINALLY we'll get to tour the US. It's very cool to see dreams turn into reality. You want to know how to make that happen for yourself? Well... just pursue what you love and never, ever give up. You will get it.
We're recording more stuff soon. There's one acoustic song in particular that I wrote I can't wait to record. The new Psychostick stuff and Evacuate Chicago stuff is all amazing.
Those blogs below suck ass (therefore they are gone). Har, I've progressed so much since then. I got annoyed at a party I went to on Saturday, but then... I realized what was really important; having fun and enjoying the time I spend with friends. So guess what? I'm no longer concerned with "it" anymore. "It" being that crap below. It'll all work itself out without me even having to put forth any of my time and energy into it. It's all out of my control anyway, so whatever. Bros before hoes, right? RIGHT? Of course.
G'night intarweb.
My nerdiness knows no bounds.
Gotta go into work tomorrow... BOO! But it'll be a good thing.
So I bought another domain name and decided to do something cool with it. I don't have enough websites apparantly! I get made fun of by a friend of mine who thinks I have too many. Well that may be true, but she makes too many fruit slushie things. Ha, you get that!
So I saw some people from high school on my friend's blog page. That was weeeeeird. High school and anytime before I moved away from Odessa seems like a dream (or rather, a nightmare, heh). Most of the folks I did see looked completely different, and some the same. A select few I saw invoked insane rage! I started remembering how they just were in general: PRICKS. Not so much to everyone, just to me (at the time). I laugh at them now; most of them following the boring "template of life." You know: "Go to school, get a degree, get married, explode with babies." I don't get it! I'm not opposed to the previously mentioned activities, but TRY SOME VARIETY WHILE YOU'RE YOUNG! Har har, whatever.
So these pricks I mentioned. Yeah, they were pricks. This mostly occured in 10th grade when I was in high school band (I played trombone, har). Probably the worst year of my schooling I ever encountered. For starters, I never WANTED to play trombone. What made this even more annoying was that I was very good at it and I didn't give two shits about the outcome of my playing or competing against anyone else. I didn't even practice. Ever. Everyone else did. So I did well without practicing; better than most. They hated me for it. Haha, jerks!
So in turn they acted like pricks to me. There were only a select few people that were actually cool to me, and one of them is Joshy, our lovable Psychostick guitarist! The messed up thing was that I never (intentionally) rubbed my playing in anyone's face. I guess it was my carefree attitude that pissed them off. Oh well, go enjoy babies and marriage!
And don't even get me started about that goddamn band director. He's probably like 238641234876 years old now or some crap. FUCK that guy. Yeah, great way to teach; yell, scream, spit, and make your students feel as shitty as possible! Oh, if I could go back... so many people would get a punch in the face.
One thing I learned thoughout that shitty experience was to stand up for myself. When someone was a prick to me, I would sit and take it. When I got screamed at by my jerkface band director, I just sat there and rolled with the punches. Now, heh... fuck no.
But all that has long since passed. Felt really good to vent though. Haha... babies and marriage. I slay me.
Time for bed.
Finally, a real post!
Wow, did you miss me? Yeah I've been gone a while. I wonder if anyone actually reads these? Oh well. Most of you are probably coming from Myspace anyway. Ain't that something.
I've got a nice big fat rant here if I can manage to stay awake.
First things first: Our little 2 show tour! We went up to Hollywood for the first time to play at The Gig, right on Melrose. The drive wasn't that bad really, up until we hit LA and the road got real bumpy like. Then we cruise through downtown and make our exit onto Melrose, and it hit me...
Hollywood ain't that great!
Well, at first glance. It's dirty and overcrowded. I couldn't make a left turn! Getting parked and settled to the club made my anxiety meter explode, but nevertheless I managed to steal a spot right next to the club, towing a trailer and all. Luckily my truck can handle that kind of stuff. Hurray for FINALLY having a big, bad truck!
So we hang out for several hours, checking out the area and goofing around. I got some great stuff on film I'll use for the DVD sometime soon (hint, hint). I also snapped some photos on my camera which I'll put on the stick's page sometime soon. For the most part, the people there pretty much ignore you no matter what... until you perform on stage. :p But yeah, I saw some crazy stuff. When we walked to Subway, I saw two Lamborghini's parked in an auto store (not just that, but I saw tons of fancy cars, including TWO Vipers - I exploded). Then we walk into Subway and get food. Then a hottie walks in, ignores us all as much as possible, and goes to make out with the owner of the two Lamborghini's outside. This leads me to believe that love CAN be bought! So keep that in mind, everyone. If the price is right, you can buy anything!
Mmmm... cynical...
The Hollywood show turned out to be AWESOME. We killed! There was a good chunk of people there, and they seemed to all be entertained by us. We also got to finally play in front of the Otep crew, whom we've had the honor of meeting up with several months prior when they toured through Phoenix. Turned out that Evil Jay (Otep bassist) is a rabid, RABID Psychostick fan. It's all SO amazing. They all seemed to enjoy the show immensely, which means we did our job. I'm proud of me and my boys.
The San Diego show was great too, and some of the crazed people from the Hollywood show came to this one as well. The Jumping Turtle, which is the venue we played at, was friendly and brought in a decent number of people in. The opening acts though were not near the genre we were. The first was a lady with her keyboard. She was a really good musician, but it didn't fit the bill! Then a Dave Matthews type band played next, which was also really good... but didn't fit the bill! Then WE go on and send heavy chugs of death throughout the rolling hills of San Marcus (I think that's the town), and Seven Year Existence followed us with even more insane death heavy KILL. Strange night that was - some weird lady grabbed my ass and the bartender hit on me. At least I think she did. Har har.
Moral of the story: I did not want to come home. Going to work the next day was HARD. I can't wait to tour the US now. The only bad thing about all of this was that my voice was not used to this sort of thing. I have to work on building chops. Awww!
Anyway.
I just spent all day today working on our press kit. It's finally done, aside from me having to send in some stuff for demo CD pressing and making some glossy photos. Once all that is in, we can finally start presenting ourselves in a formal fashion other than, "Uhh... want a CD?"
I also realize that it's almost impossible for me to have a life. I WANT to get out there and date/hump chicks, but with a combination of my new job AND this ever-so-quickly growing band, I hardly have time to surf for porn go out and make it happen anymore! I think I need to start delegating stuff. Who knows. All I know is that aside from some short little flings I haven't actually legitmately dated in over 2 years. I know it's not me personally, because I freakin' rule. Well I suppose that in the long run I will reap the rewards.
For now though, I continue to press onward. Plus I think the chick in the Phoenix area are all lesbians or something. Har har, lucky for them I'm also a lesbian. Just a bit hairier and with external genitals.
Ok, I'm satisified now.
Oh, woe is woes.
There's a lot of exciting things going on with Psychostick behind the scenes. I really can't talk about them, but... trust me, they're happening now. So many things I want to announce, but I cannot just yet. :)
I think once I get to a point where I can comfortably, I'm going to move back to Texas. Hopefully I can do this within a year or two. Kinda burnt out on AZ, not that there's anything bad about it, it's just not the place for me. Austin sounds good to me. Rawr.
Gotta run here pretty quick, so I'll keep this short and vague...
My personal life has been a roller coaster. Up, down, spinny things, etc. I had exited the whole dating world for a long period of time and kept it that way intentionally. Well it's looking like I'm re-entering it, but super casual-like. There was also another potential "thing" that was going to possibly happen. Now it looks pretty unlikely to me, just based off of the general overall feeling I'm getting. The vibe does not jive.
I know that was really vague. Trust me, that's a good thing right now. :p I figured I had waited long enough, and I think it's time to fill that gap again. It's not much of a gap that NEEDS filling, but it'll help me rest at ease not really being so concerned with it.
Of course, it could end up being more of a hassle anyway. So I'll play it by ear.
Super-vague!
Again?
Internet web!@ Next week we go to Hollywood and San Diego. I think the last time I was in LA was... 10 years ago? Maybe?I'm seriously excited. Even though they are on weekdays and we don't have a lot of promo time (ugh), I think out turnout will be decent. I also can't wait to have that "we're from out of town so bow down, sluts" feeling. :D
When we get back, there's going to be a serious amount of effort put into Psychostick distribution into stores, as well as some sponsorships and such. We want to hit the road, badly. There IS a big tour that we have a 95% chance of being on, but right now this particular tour is set back by a particular band who is recording their next album. So we must be patient and do all we can in the meantime.
I have yet another philosphical rant I want to get into, but now is not the time.
My new job has me dreaming of code.
This page is looking prettier! Look at my face!
UGH.
Well, at least I'm not bored.Jesus FREAKING Buddah.
Turns out this tour isn't coming together as I thought it would. Looks like we'll hit a few California shows, but... the big bad tour is still up in the air.
Anyway, I have to get up in about 5 hours to run, so I'll keep this brief!
I've been working myself like a dog these past two weeks, and my new job is very intense. It's kind of like being promoted from Private to General in a month. Yeah, that sounds good.
Anyway, I think I'll update one of the sections of my page just because I CAN!
I go now.
Sluts! All of you!
Updating this page will not happen as much as I'd like at this point. Psychostick and Pluh.com have become my life! But no worries though, I can't work on the ALL the time.
Sooo... deal with it for now.
Wow...
I packaged a bunch of shirts and CDs. It's scary how many of these I've been doing lately... so scary! But in a really good way.More stuff and things...
I'd like to start this particular blog out with some interesting stuff.
For starters, here's me getting some shirts ready to ship.
AAAND... getting pictures like this make me so happy.
Ohh, how happy I am.
It's been a pretty amazing week for me. It has, in a weird way, set the tone for how the rest of the year is going to be. For starters, I got this new job that looks to be completely different in every positive way from my old one. It's a block away (maybe 2 blocks), I don't have to dress up every damn day, I will save money on gas and food, I will have a better opportunity to get in shape, etc, etc. Plus I'll start growing with web programming and everything! WOW! Can you believe that? A job where I'll learn something and become smarter!
Secondly, a lot of cool band stuff is happening. One particular thing I can't mention online. Heh heh. What I can tell you is that Mike (our bassist) just got his new amp today. It sounds so incredible. Just adding that, along with Joshy's and V's great rigs, our live sound is about 10,000 times better. Then I had to order more shirts because we ran out of certain sizes/colors! Now I need to order stickers, then posters, then presskits, then... oh man, it's getting more and more crazy. I love it. I love our fans. I love this band. I love love! HAR HARLWRO!#@Lk
More David DeAngelo stuff this week too. I'm borrowing a DVD set from a friend called, "On Being a Man." Sounds silly, yes. Strangely enough though most males, fully grown, do not know HOW to be a man. What does "being a man" entail? A lot of people assume that you have to beat your chest and beat up women or something to "be a man." No, that's not it.
What this series is talking about is transitioning from the "boy" mentality to the "man" mentality. Most males nowadays are not fully taught how, or initiated, into manhood. There's a lot of reasons behind this, like:
- Not having a father around, so we had to raise ourselves (very, very common)
- Being emasculated by overbearing fathers (think about that dad guy from Friday Night Lights who taped a football to his kid's hands)
- Spoiled by good intentioned mothers (women do not now how to raise a man... sorry, but they don't)
- We went through "pseudo-initiations" like sports, boot-camp, gangs, and fraternities
- We made it to adulthood, alone, missing a critical set of elements with no map or hints to find them.
Cool stuff. Another thing that's important for males to understand is that women generally are not attracted to men with a boy-ish mentality. Guys with a boyish mentality tend to act like one of the following:
- Avoids and represses the fact, does not confront because it's too scary, low self-esteem, depression, image of "loser"
- Spoiled behaviour, cheater, manipulator, arrogant, tyrant, pointlessly violent
Think about it. Are any of those traits attractive? Not really. Interesting, huh? So what does make a man attractive to women? Being strong; a protector, a leader, mentor to others, source of grounding energy, on his own purpose, etc. Cool stuff. And of course, DeAngelo goes into tons of detail that I can't even get into without making this 50 pages long. Let's just say I've identified with a lot of this stuff and am now understanding how some of my past behaviour has influenced most of my shortcomings as a man. Personal growth? Fuck yeah.
Anyway, this week I'll probably be blogging quite a bit as I learn more stuff. Besides, this DeAngelo stuff is preparing me for a couple of interesting situations I'll be in soon. Amazing stuff.
Strange!
Another change!Strange things are going on. Not gonna mention though. Not yet.
Anyway, job interview was great. So unorthidox! The company is small, a lot smaller than I thought. But the charm it company was that it's highly successful with a small staff. My interview was with the president guy, and he was in jeans and stuff (while I was uber-dressed up), and we just chatted away. I told him about my band, he wanted to hear it (and ended up really liking it). For the most part the interview went really well, but after we talked so much he wanted to set up a second interview. After going home and thinking about what happened, I realized that I REALLY want this job. So I'm bustin' my ass to get it. (this makes it really hard to work at my current job, ugh)
Psychostick shirts went on sale yesterday, and we sold tons already. Awesome! It's almost overbearing, but I don't mind spending a few hours packaging up shirts for the greater good. We have plans for more merch soon. And a tour... :)
Strange stuff. I'm going now. Lots to do. I kinda like how this page is working. Just me ranting, and no one can post what they think. That's funny!
So tired!
Actually posted on 12-22-05 at 9:18 AM)12 hour drive. No, wait - 13 hour. Still tired. Want to do stuff. Family is great.
12-20-05 (12:53 AM): You get sauce.
The novelty of this site will soon wear off for me, and my updates will be less frequent! I'd rather post something on Pluh.com, but my energies are going towards that new design... AFTER I finish my friend's site.
This vacation to Colorado is long overdue for me. Not only will I get to see my family (the side that is a positive influence, har har), but I'll get a lot of time to myself while I drive to there and back. Aside from music, I'm going to listen to a couple of different thingies.
The first will be this Perfect Pitch course that I've procrastinated on listening to for the longest time. The whole purpose behind this will be to, of course, attain perfect pitch. I think it'd be really nice for me to be able to hear a note and name it, just from hearing it. It's entirely possible, and with a skill like that it could seriously help my singing. My live singing isn't bad or horrible, but it could definately use some work. If this is something that interests you, you can contact me and I'll get you the info later (I don't have it with me). I think this course is like 8 CDs or something. Crazy!
After that, there's a whole new slew of stuff by this guy named David DeAngelo. In a nutshell, this guy is sort of a Pickup Artist that coaches other guys who have that underlying fear of chicks. You "nice guys" know what I'm talking about. All you feel is fear, intimidation, nervousness, etc. when an opportunity is in your grasp. Well, after years of conditioning from society (and Mom), I also developed that same fear and have been paralyzed by it ever since.
It started with one particular day: I had a great opportunity pass me by. It was right in front of me. All the signals were there, the chemistry was going well, all that stuff, but - I was completely frozen in fear! I got so pissed off when I got home. SO PISSED. "That's it! I've had it!" Punching pillows, stomping feet, etc. I know I'm hot (I told you I started this site to be arrogant, heh heh), I know I'm smart, I know all this. Why was I having problems? So I turned to my brain. I go, "Rob's brain, you've done extremely well with programming, band stuff, and all that - it's time to put your awesome power to a whole new use." I then started my research when I came across David DeAngelo's material.
I watched about 4 or 5 videos from one of this seminars, and it was absolutely astonishing. I laughed, I cried, I hurled. At one point this guy was also extremely frustrated (like me) and put his brain to work. He took a complete Intuitive Thinking approach (which just happens to be my thing) and gathered all the facts in very fine detail, right down to the DNA, and put together his product called "Double Your Dating."
I'm not really interested in becoming a manwhore, but this material still applied. Just from watching those vid