Rawrb.com Blog

Shattered Heart Tacos!

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:24:08 MDT

Got another question. One would think I know something about stuff! Wait, what?

Here.

ok here is my situation....
there is this guy he is four and a half years older than me but we hit it off really well. he isnt my actual boyfriend but he trusts me and i want to trust him. i love him.
well he is in arkansas doing some training to go to iraq in january. well he went to go meet this girl, and he is going to stay with her for the weekend. he promised me that he wasnt going to do anything but i know that most guys....well the guys that ive been with would do it seen as its there.
should i be worried that he will do things and not tell me?
i want to believe and trust his every word but i dont know if i can.
please give me advice...
- L

For starters, a 4.5 year age difference is just fine. It might be weird if he was 18 and you were 14, but your situation is legal so it's cool. Hell, I turn 28 this month and my last girlfriend was 5 years younger than me. Go me, eh?

Anyway. He's off training and about to leave the country for a while, so your situation just got complicated. This is where trust and communication will become the two single most important factors between you two

I think it's natural to worry about his faithfulness to you. However from a guy's perspective, it's incredibly annoying when we get stereotyped as liars and cheaters. You're probably not accusing him (at least I hope not), but it's easy to imply that you're secretly jealous and might not trust him. Let's look at a couple of facts:

Men interact with women every day (unless World of Warcraft rules your life with an iron doom hammer).
Men have female friends (well, the healthy ones :).
Men might even have female friends who you might think are prettier than you are.
Men could also still be good friends with ex-girlfriends whom might even share a complicated history together.

Trusting him while he's out there really depends on his personality and if he appreciates you. It's hard for me to say, "Yeah, trust him!" I just don't know the guy. If he hasn't given you any reason not to trust him, then I wouldn't worry about it.

The BEST way, in my experience, is to just support him. Encourage his social life. "You're hanging with Sally? Ok, have fun! Call me later, ok?" This establishes in many, many subtle ways you trust him and have faith in his fidelity.

And be GENUINE about it. If he asks, "You trust me, right?" The answer is, "Yes I do. Why shouldn't I?"

However, the only thing I'm not sure about is how you mentioned he's not actually your boyfriend. Hmmm. That's peculiar to me. The above advice really applies if you're committed to each other, but if you're not you really ought to find out where you stand with the guy. If he's standoffish about committing, I'd honestly move on. Sucks, I know, but it'll save you so much drama and heartache later on.

From a guy's point of view, if I'm deliberately not committing to a woman, I'm keeping my options open.

So... yeah. I feel for you. This stuff can really suck sometimes just like it can be the most awesome-est thing EVAR.

Hope that helps.

The web's state of being.

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 21:01:04 MDT

Touring began for me about 2 years ago. Roughly around then I had expressed a ton of interest in taking Pluh.com in an entirely different direction. I had this idea - which is a great idea - that would hypothetically be the next myspace or facebook or whatever. I did some web maintenance work earlier today and started to think about my massive Pluh.com rebuild. I came to the conclusion that another facebook or myspace isn't want people need or even want. Why?

Because it's already there. It's already something that's grown into a supergiant. I originally believed that having a supergiant of a website is what I wanted as a web developer. Visions of advertising dollars coming in danced through my head. I can't imagine what kind of headache that would also entail. Servers upon servers of maintenance, having to regulate time to run a company of that magnitude, etc. That wasn't what got me rethinking my Pluh.com plans though. What got me moving was with my new idea, the real personality, the customization, and the charm of what I had originally envisioned would be gone. It'll be a massive application where people are herded around like cattle via mouseclicks and keyboard strokes. It kind of goes against why I do what I do.

I think the web is going into a different direction now, something beyond the scope of clicking around and poking friends. I'm not just a developer - I'm also an entertainer, and that's something I often lose sight of.

I think my original vision needs to be breathed back to life, but with a stronger foundation. People want to be entertained, not herded, and that's something I plan on implementing again. I have to start back at the drawing board, try some different stuff, etc.

I won't toss aside my other ideas though. Who knows, I may find a better use for them.

Non-eternal questions.

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 20:10:46 MDT

Meeeh! So this past week I've spent so much time working on this new Psychostick DVD. Most of my time has gone to transferring video from tape to hard drive. An hour long video is about 15 gigs, aaaand... yeah I've filled up a 500 gig drive and had to go get another one. I have to do some stuff to our Psychostick myspace page AND .com page to shift focus towards our album fundraiser, so... yeah! Busy.

I did receive a few questions (all within a day!), so I answer them IN YOUR FACE.

"Whats it like to be in a band and what all do you need to begin one? Because we were wanting to start one ourselves. - Justin."

Well, being in a band is kind of like being married. Not that I would know what it's like to be married since I haven't been, though I'm told it's like being in a marriage.

Anyway, being in a band is a very atypical thing to do by society's standards. You know, go to school, get a job, have kids, etc. A band is quite the opposite of all those things in many ways and it's a very strange experience if you're not used to it. It almost feels like you're walking on a different plane of existence from those around you who are not experiencing it.

For me personally it's been a huge learning and growing experience. Your comfort zone gets demolished, at times you want to strangle your bandmates, you find out exactly how you handle stress, but in the end it's more than worth it when you walk on that stage. They way people react to your music, your creation, cannot be described. It can only be experienced.

I hope that helps.

"what do you do, when your ex-girlfriends friends, keep calling your phone, and telling you how awesome her new boyfriend is? - zac"

WOW.

This is tough to answer.

First of all, you're young (it says you're 14 on your profile). Chicks at THAT age can be extremely obnoxious. I find that when dealing with immature actions like that (which can sadly carry on throughout their lives in some cases) you counter with something they don't see coming.

Something that they won't have any way to get the upper hand.

Be humble and positive. Most people don't know how to deal with that. It's AWESOME.

Here's exactly what I would say.

"Really? He's that awesome? You know what? Good for them. I really hope they're happy."

Something along those lines would work. If they can't insult you or make you feel like crap, they'll never win. Not only that, but it'll generally make you feel better for wanting the best for everyone.

And be genuine about it. They might be playing this stupid little game, yet you are above the game by completely dismissing it and hoping for the best for everyone. Don't give in to that crap.

In the end, what you said will carry back to your ex-girlfriend and she'll actually appreciate that, even if you don't want her to. :p

"I need some advice. I've been friends with someone for about 4 years now. I went to his birthday party last week and I found out he has been a stoner for about 3 years. this hit me hard because I'm very anti-drug if that makes sense. I did not suspect a thing. What would you do in this situation? Should I keepin touch with him? - Adam"

You know, I've been in your situation. Yeah! I can actually say that. :)

Several years ago one of my oldest, bestest friends ended up telling me he was a stoner. I couldn't believe it at first because at the time, I was STRONGLY against drugs of every kind.

Thing is, he probably hasn't told you because he was worried about how you'd feel about the whole thing. Personally you can stand your moral ground and still be against it, but make things clear with him how you feel and how you don't want anything to do with it.

I find that when dealing with stoners or druggies in general you can either get angry, hate them, whatever, but that won't stop them from doing what they do. Letting them in your life all depends on how strongly against it you feel, but keep in mind the type of drugs also makes a difference in this choice too.

For example, I refuse to associate with people who are into the "drugs that can kill you," like heroine, coke, etc. Pot is really harmless. I personally don't do any drugs whatsoever, aside from the occasional Advil for a headache. HAR HAR. I've just never had any interest. You wouldn't believe how many people freak out when I tell them I've never tried pot. Very funny stuff.

Also, I find it hard to be around people who obsess with any type of substance, even alcohol. Too much of anything is bad.

That's all for now. More stuff coming as always. Hell yeah!

Warking awrt?

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 12:08:15 MDT

HOME! Finally. It's been a very long tour. To go into detail about why this is won't really make a whole lot of sense to most of you, but the tour yeilded many awesome connections and we finally hit some markets that we've missed out on for a very, VERY long time. Tennesse and Kentucky for starters. Good stuff!

I just added a "Fitness" category to Rawrb.com here. Bottom line: it's time to get in shape and stay there as long as possible. Couple of the dudes in Powerglove are fitness buffs (har har pun) and I picked their brains about what works for them. I learned quite a bit and am looking forward to trying some stuff out. I'll probably be talking about it more here as I progress. I've got a few months off from touring to be able to focus on it for a good hour a day or so. That's really all you need - people who go to the gym for more than an hour a day are honestly wasting their time. I'll rant on that one later along with the science behind it. Yes, it's not me thinking they're jerks - it's very BAD for you.

We're also starting on preproduction on the next Psychostick CD. FINALLY! The process of preproduction is probably going to take the longest. We've got so many songs written and tons of ideas to turn into songs. Then there's a DVD I'm going to start putting together. I'm gonna aim for an August release date for that there DVD, but I can't be for sure just yet until I get all of the footage pulled and organized. There's about 20 hour long tapes and probably a good 200+ clips from Anthony's digital camera.

That's a lot. Hurray for external hard disks.

Jeez, there's so much going on Psychostick related that I can't talk about yet. :)

Anyway, happy 4th and stuff. Gotta find a way to get ahold of my own PS3 and 360. Lots of awesome games came out lately and I'm lacking! Awrgh!

Questions that need answers!

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 22:08:12 MDT

Alright, this question was in the queue for a while now. Touring will do that to you.

"If you never started Psychostick what do you think you'd be doing right now?" - Jen

Well Jen, sometimes it's fun to speculate, so I shall. I'd probably be doing web development still, bouncing from company to company and possibly entering contractual work. Sound like fun? Naawh. I love webdev, but I don't really enjoy it when I'm building for someone else other than... me. I'd also be playing lots of video games and probably be way overweight. Har har! Well, not too overweight. Just a little.

There's also a small possibility that I'd be married, but that one is quite a stretch in the speculatory department of the alternate Rawrb reality. I'll spare you the details behind that because 1) it's highly personal and 2) it's a long story.

The past few weeks have been so chocked full of stuff that I've entered an information overload. The music industry, as unholy as it can be, can also reap a ton of rewards. It's a survival of the fittest industry. Without going into detail, many people seem to thing that all you do is play shows and wait for opportunities to fall in your lap. Not the case.

Meh, I'm not sure where to begin with what I have to say here. I'll probably do a major recap after this tour is over in July. Don't wait up!

Multisubjectland!

Thu, 29 May 2008 18:41:13 MDT

I've been working on the new Pluh.com here and there when I find time on this here tour. I used to try and work on it in a shaky van with stupid band jerks, but gave up on that when I contantly hit wrong keys during coding or precise graphics editing ended up being like performing sugery while skydiving. So what is the new Pluh.com about? Not so much I can divuldge yet due to a somewhat original concept that I can't wait to roll out. There have been many times I've had to go back and clean up old code that this new framework I'm developing will be super easy to update, add features, etc.

Pluh.com has always been a fun-yet-frustrating battle. Just when I think I've got it figured out, I hit a wall or something else comes up. The editor-driven setup doesn't work because it's all volunteer based. How on earth can one keep a staff of voluteers motivated to update a website every day? It's possible, but change is constantly moving that they often get pulled away into something else, like... LIFE for example. Kids, marriage, jobs, whatever. Nothing wrong with any of those of course.

So a whole new approach has been adopted on my end.

Crap, I gotta run. Show in New Port Richey, Florida tonight. Oh yeah!

More touring, and big plans.

Wed, 28 May 2008 00:25:34 MDT

Got a question that came in. I get 'em sometimes and I respond directly, but this makes me look oh-so-good.

Name: fats mcfats
Subject: in-genious?
Question: how in the fuck do you switch from PS to EC. i mean fuck id think it gets confusing to me but you pull them shits off lkike its nothing...is it a natural talent or an in-genious way of having pure luck and fury my man....either way they both jam the fuck off my asshole and whatnot....by the way, your vvoie is amazing, bro...thats what got me into the stick in the first place...noit just BEER which owns everything...anyway i make no sense man peace

Well, thanks for the compliments. Switching isn't exactly something I try to think about I guess. It's more or less just "Hey Rawrb, we need to record this shit!" And there I am. There was about 6 or 7 years of experience behind those recordings, so it didn't happen overnight. Rawr.

Tour is getting better this time 'round - it started off a bit slow but picked up after Oklahoma. Shocking! Sorry Okieland, but you guys need some love in your music scene. Or, maybe it's something else? Who knows. Next time we're coming through there you will all know about it somehow.

I also have big plans outside of the band. It's a personal endeavor that I decided to pursue after I attended my grandfather's funeral. When death becomes a part of one's life, I think it's natural to want to make sure you live life to the fullest. So here I go, and them thar chips will fall where they may.

Evacuate Chicago - Veracity!

Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:11 MDT

Just today we got the new Evacuate Chicago CD mastered. This CD turned out way better than I even imagined, and I imagine stuff a lot.

For those who are not aware, Evacuate Chicago is a side project of mine, Joshy from Psychostick, and Alex from Psychostick. Evacuate Chicago is basically a non-comedic version of Psychostick that was formed originally by Alex who wrote many songs that didn't fit Psychostick's style. I'd say about 2/3rds of it is VERY aggresive hardcore/metal, while the other 1/3rd is a bit more melodic.

Here are my thoughts and feelings on the individual songs:

Occasional Letter 1 ("Pat yourself on the back because you're good at taking orders"): Josh revised the original lyrics and did a phenomenal job. This song hits me pretty hard since many of the systems in society are training us to be worker bees rather than independent thinkers. Great stuff.
Nothing Like You ("You invalidate every fucking thing that I say"): An Alex composition. Don't you hate it when people just give you advice when you don't want it? They think they know you? Good intentions don't fix people. Sometimes you have to let them be and just be supportive.
Deny ("She'll never think of you again"): The first song Alex ever wrote if I remember correctly. Breaking up is hard to do. Letting go completely is even harder. This song was my anthem in 2004 when Alex wrote it, and I don't think he even knew. :)
Perfect Ratio ("You'll always get the best advice while you're sleeping"): A great song Alex wrote. I really dig this tune because I got experiment more with vocals.
The Hole ("Gone already to my private hell"): Joshy was going through some serious crap when he wrote this. Tried to capture it the best I could.
The Damage Has Been Done ("Do you ever regret?"): Fucking Alex. When I had to learn the rhythm of the chorus in rehearsal, I thought it was some mean prank he was playing on me. After I finally nailed it, it turned out brutal.
Proof of Dark Matter ("Record number of times I've started over"): My favorite song on this CD. Why? The melody. I don't get that many opportunities to sing like this (most of the time I'm screaming), so... yay! The overall feel of this song I think most anyone can relate to. Well written by Alex. My buddy Rachel is playing the piano part at the end.
Progress Beyond Repair ("I have embraced what you choose to ignore"): The truth hurts, ya know? Brutality written by Alex.
Velociraptors ("Take a pill to wear you out"): A song about a nightmare Alex had. I'm very proud of how this song actually SOUNDS like a nightmare. Crazy!
Time Lapse Photography ("Someday he might awake to find he's glad to get up"): Josh wrote this one. Life isn't about working the same job until the end. There's always a way out.
Peace, Love, and Santa Claus ("Write your letters in cursive like wanting a love so desperately"): Another cool melodic song by Alex. Had some high parts that challenged me, but I think I did really well. Maybe it's the effects? Naw. It's me. HAR AHR
Fine Line of Forgiveness ("You do not have the right to say, 'None of this is my fault you will learn to forgive one day'"): It's easy to tell someone to forgive, but actually forgiving is another story altogether. Written by Alex.

These songs should be available for purchase on the Snocap portion of the Evacuate Chicago myspace page any time now. Hope ya like 'em!

Stupid rock and hard place.

Thu, 01 May 2008 04:23:22 MDT

I've been involved in web development for roughly 10 years now. I recall my very first venture into that crazy newfangled technology known as the internet and "web pages." Angelfire! That was where I had my first website. Then I moved to Geocities, then... uhm, I think I got my own domain? Can't remember much.

Anyway, up until 3 or 4 years ago I had considered web development a hobby. It comes very easily to me, and I find it to be very enjoyable. I had no idea how valuable the skill was up until I went to work for a smaller company a couple of years ago. I was stunned at how much my boss was charging clients for what I considered simple. Then it occured to me - it's not SIMPLE to them. They're paying for a service they don't want to bother with.

That made a ton of sense. For instance, why would *I* try and fix a messed up cluster of pipes underneath my sink and in my wall when I cold pay someone to do it? Not only that, they're good at it, experienced, and will do a far better job than I could with my severe lack of knowledge. The exact same thing applies to web development. Why would someone with very little interest in web dev want to bother with it when they could pay someone to build their site, to their specifications, and do it right the first time?

Then I started to appreciate my skill and experience so much more.

So the message I wanted to clarify here is: Web development, especially in the professional realm, is NOT something that's just slapped together. There's a science behind it. If someone offers to build you a website, and they do a good job, pay them handsomely. You get an awesome website, they get paid, everybody wins.

That's how it should be.

*sigh*

No more favors. From now on I charge full price to everyone. Don't like it? Go buy some templates and slap something together. You get what you pay for.

Buy it. NOW!

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:06:01 MDT

Decimating the list.

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 20:12:47 MDT

Did a few tiny things to Rawrb.com here. Biggest one you'll notice is that I can now set some blogs to private, which is something I'm very glad I did after going through a few of my past posts. Heh. Perhaps someday I'll allow registration that will give access to hand-picked people to read those private blogs. Perhaps.

I did a TON of stuff to TheDumb.org, most of which won't be noticed by your average interweb going guy. El Duderino will be able to administer TheDumb much easier now. Hell yeah!

Psychostick.com got a little facelift as well as a lot of front-end feature additions, such as an Advice Column and an Articles section. After I blog like an awesomeface here, I'm gonna head there and add a few more SEO tricks and optimizations. Time for more Mod rewrite magic! Don't you find this FASCINATING?!

I gotta get all this nerd out of my system before I hit the road in 2.5 weeks. Rawr.

After all this I'll be attacking the Psychostick DVD and finally, Pluh.com. I'll finally get to see what AJAX is capable of. From what I've seen on Facebook and Myspace, it's very versatile if you know how to use it properly.

Oh, tons of Psychostick merch is being manufactured as we speak. Yay!

The Pen Tool... argh.

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:46:14 MDT

Okay, this is going to be short one, but...

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE YOU FUCKING PEN TOOL?

This pen tool.

I always saw it there. I even tried it not knowing how it worked. I never imagined how awesome it could be. Thanks Murph for telling me it was awesome like 2 years ago, but not forcing me to learn how to use it. I blame Murph. Damn you Murph!

"I'm Murph and I eat rotten acorns because I'm so STUPID WATCH ME PLAEY GUITAWR HEROS VIIIIIIII"

If you use Photoshop or any other program that uses the pen tool, read this tutorial and bask in it's awesomeness.

Taking out the trash.

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 00:54:58 MDT

I've been home for a few weeks now from touring. I'm usually the busiest when we're not touring due to all the stuff that piles up. Preparing for the next tour takes precedence, then comes new merch designs. We got our store back up, which is really good, but more options are needed. We're also looking into accepting credit and debit cards at shows. Once I get a few more time sensitive stuff wrapped up, I'm gonna tackle that one.

Posters, done. Flyers, done. Website revisions, mostly done. The rest are just sprinkles on the e-cupcake that is Psychostick.com.

*long pause*

I miss writing. E-cupcake. That's just awesome.

*even longer pause*

Now I gotta get all philosphical.

Sometimes the answers come just as quickly as the questions. Seems that all the weird little concerns that I had since I've been home have been pretty much solved or simply dismissed. Now there's another phase I've moved into, which is more of an attempt to take a much closer look at my thoughts and where I'm going. I'm not about to go into specifics, but I simply must mention how grateful I am to having the friends that I have. It's nice knowing that no matter what happens with me, or how dumb I get, they've got my back.

"Don't worry about the future. It'll get here soon enough." - Albert Einstein

One interesting outlook is how far away "normal" life seems to be. How easy would it be to go back to that? It's easy to get a job with a fixed income. EASY. Compared to co-running this band, it's about as easy as breathing. The reassuring thing is that I'm never alone in this massive endeavor, especially since the really hard part has long since past. If I fell, I would be picked right back up. Even if this band things falls apart for whatever reason, I will be able to take any idea and turn it into something huge. It's freaking awesome knowing that.

Is being comfortable and "safe" worth risking your happiness over? You can have your cake and eat it too. Whomever said you can't needs a face-punching.

As I "take out the trash," I'll probably be blogging about it. Of course, blogging has a funny way of not being rhetorical, or just simply one-sided. I get a bit misunderstood... but I can understand how.

"Hey, I read your blog. You okay?"

Yes yes yes, I'm just fine.

A few closing thoughts:

Buffy is such a stupid show, but I really enjoy it.
Where the HELL is Dragon Quest IV DS? It's already TRANSLATED.
Warcraft 3 = Sex
Most DVD menu templates are lame.
Stevie Wonder is a badass.
Tech N9ne is amazing.
I'm pretty sure age is just a number.
Jagermeister loves us.

That's all.

Dane Cook is funny.

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 02:25:17 MDT

So, after a week of "tour-recovery" (which is more or less getting some sort of sleep schedule again), I'm back in the groove of doing stuff. By "stuff" I mean "holy crap I have stuff to do let's make a list and uhm, do that stuff that is on the list so I can get done with stuff."

Yup.

Making tour posters and flyers for The Dumb once all those tour dates are in (should be any day now). Then the actual site REALLY needs something interesting on it. I'm thinking all the dumb members might be enticed to come back and like, do stuff if there was stuff to do. Ideas? A few.

Psychostick's site is gonna have a bunch of new stuff soon too - some of them I'm taking directly from Pluh.com. Which ones? Can't tell ya. Pluh.com will be taking a completely new turn once I ah, get to it. Hah, yes - it's all at the mercy of "when I have TIME!" Actually time isn't the issue. It's a matter of getting the bigger fish fried, which is currently Psychostick. Sooooooo... yeah. All gonna be badassery either way.

And that's all I have at the moment. Oh wait, there's this thing that Jawrsh sent to me. Kinda funny - it's something that I used to make a lot of fun of.

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